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object-oriented masturbation

the stimulation or manipulation of one’s own ego by way of using object-oriented code in places where it has no advantage instead resulting in unnecessary complication and bloat.
Objective: Sum two numbers and print the result in the format “The answer is: X” where X is the sum of the two numbers:

Object-oriented masturbation solution:

function MathLib(){

this.answer = null;
}

MathLib.prototype.sum = function (x,y){

this.answer = x + y;
}

MathLib.prototype.getAnswer = function(){

return this.answer;
}

function Printer(){

this.preText = ”;
}

Printer.prototype.setPreText = function(str){

this.preText = str;
}

Printer.prototype.out = function (str){

document.write(this.preText + str);
}

// To run
var math = new MathLib();
var print = new Printer();
math.sum(1,1);
print.setPreText(‘The answer is: ‘);
print.out(math.answer);
by a304681 March 7, 2010
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furious mastrabation

An act of self-pleasure intended purely for the function of dealing with cronic stress. In many cases; this form of masturbation is grossly satirized with descriptions of men grinding their teeth, audibly growling, and exhibiting a pulsating forehead vein.
Larry : Dude writing my thesis fucking sucks. I'm going to fucking kill myself.

Barry : Dude ... take it easy man you know ... go home ... have a sandwich.

Larry : We are fucking beyond sandwiches here.

Barry : Have you tried furious mastrabation?

Larry : Furious masturbation?

Barry : Masturbating FURIOUSLY, just grabbing that little purple soldier and choking the fucking life out of him while you sit and think about how much your life fucking sucks.

Larry : You’re a genius Barry. I now understand why that bruise on your temple has never healed.
by Darker January 21, 2010
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masturbation probation

When one goes an extended period of time without jerking off. Most will give in to willpower and natural urges, but the courageous and strong can sometimes go for days or weeks without choking the chicken. See The Contest (Seinfeld).
"Yo dude, check out this porn video I found!"
"Nah man, not tonight. I've decided to go on masturbation probation."
by Gayaka June 20, 2009
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Masturbating

Is what I’m doing now ;)
I’m still masturbating bitchez
by It’s true bitches October 28, 2018
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preventative masturbation

VERB. Masturbating so as to prevent wet dreams and/or untimely hard ons.
Dude, I can't believe you had a wet dream last night! You really should start using preventative masturbation.
by batman1234567654321 April 5, 2010
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Masturbitionist

A person who publicly masturbates, while in the nude, ie. to perform the act of masturbitionism
My neighbor and his boyfriend are masturbitionists.
by vinkredibLe November 5, 2008
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Management Masterbation

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.
Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.
by jayray59 May 6, 2010
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