crumplestiltskin

Having an extremely intense bowel movement that requires a long duration of pushing and squeezing while "ghost-pedaling" an imaginary gold spinning loom while hunched over.

Dude, I ate sushi for lunch and mexican for dinner, I gotta stop home and bust a crumplestiltskin.

by ptoohey October 6, 2006

Bloody Crumpets

The Bloody Crumpets are Emilie Autumn's brigade of backing dancers/singers and the rest of the Asylum (not counting Emilie and the Muffins/Plague Rats/fans). This troupe of girls give her live shows (famous for their muffins and tea, extravagant performances, electric violin playing, glittery corsets and audience interaction), even more of a circus-like feel. Not only backing dancers and singers, the Crumpets have a very big part in the Asylum, co-existing happily among Emilie and fans, and many of the fans attend the live show to see them as well as Emilie - in fact, many of her fans are fans of the Crumpets as well and members of Veronica's Kissing Army, Contessa's Cannibal Tribe, Captain Maggot's Pyrate Crew, etc.

As of 2011, the lineup currently consists of:
The Naughty Veronica
The Lady Aprella
The Blessed Contessa
Captain Maggots
Suffer, the Bear.

The best things about Emilie Autumn concerts are her amazing songs, the effort put into it, and of course, the Bloody Crumpets.

by misspipedream April 24, 2011

crumperture

A game daily played by bored office workers sitting in their office blocks.

This game is played with two people.
One willing and one not.
We will call the willing Team A
we will call non willing Team B

Team A waits for the perfect time. The busiest hour of the day where all office blocks are quite. (It is important to have from 30-100 ripped out papers available). Once there is complete quite Team A repeatedly takes out a paper and crumbles it as loudly and awkwardly as possible. Team B will either get curious or greatly annoyed by the 15th paper. Team A scoring is as follows
1 point- Team B kindly asks them to stop
2 points- Team B asks them to stop in a rather demanding tone
3 points- Team B tells them to stop.
ex: Stop!
5 points- They are warned to stop
ex: I swear to god dennis if you dont stop
7 points- They are screamed at
ex: You lousy motherfucker stop that shit!
10 points- If they are physically abused
ex: One more fucking time dennis and i'll bash your head in :reaches over and chockes team a:
Auto win: If Team B quits job
If Team A gets too 30 points they win
If Team B ignores Team A, Team B auto wins because Team A did not get any points.
If Team A gets more than no points but less than thirty nobody wins.

Hypothetically Team A always wins. Cause its cool like that.

Winner gets satisfaction.

" Stop that shit Jimmy Fuck this shit i quite"

"Haha! I jsut fucking won?"

"what?""Oh shit!""Fine man you won this time"

thats crumperture for you!

by dennisd95 January 19, 2009

Crumpty

A word to describe someone who is annoying, obnoxious, crusty, and even a hoe.

Look at that girl over there being Crumpty.

by Aayla T December 28, 2017

Crumpdown

A crumpdown is when you have the last 4 crumpets, they're absolutely fucking lush and then you finish them. They're so nice that you want more, but there aren't any crumpets left so you're left helpless wanting for more.
Symptoms are: Shaking, cold sweats, increased heart rate, slurring of words and blurred vision

"Duude, I need a fix I'm crumping down pretty hard, make it extra buttery. This is the worst crumpdown ever!"

by PeaTearGriffin. February 22, 2009

crumpet hole

Another word for a British douche. Also used as another word for a crusty oozing twat

Your a dirty crumpet hole.

Don't stick your Wang in her crumpet hole.

by Portuguese asshole March 9, 2014

crumpitt

A non-gender specific first name given by parents who most likely hate their kid.

"Wow, I feel bad for Crumpitt."

by TheRubberSponge April 2, 2018