crumperture

A game daily played by bored office workers sitting in their office blocks.

This game is played with two people.
One willing and one not.
We will call the willing Team A
we will call non willing Team B

Team A waits for the perfect time. The busiest hour of the day where all office blocks are quite. (It is important to have from 30-100 ripped out papers available). Once there is complete quite Team A repeatedly takes out a paper and crumbles it as loudly and awkwardly as possible. Team B will either get curious or greatly annoyed by the 15th paper. Team A scoring is as follows
1 point- Team B kindly asks them to stop
2 points- Team B asks them to stop in a rather demanding tone
3 points- Team B tells them to stop.
ex: Stop!
5 points- They are warned to stop
ex: I swear to god dennis if you dont stop
7 points- They are screamed at
ex: You lousy motherfucker stop that shit!
10 points- If they are physically abused
ex: One more fucking time dennis and i'll bash your head in :reaches over and chockes team a:
Auto win: If Team B quits job
If Team A gets too 30 points they win
If Team B ignores Team A, Team B auto wins because Team A did not get any points.
If Team A gets more than no points but less than thirty nobody wins.

Hypothetically Team A always wins. Cause its cool like that.

Winner gets satisfaction.

" Stop that shit Jimmy Fuck this shit i quite"

"Haha! I jsut fucking won?"

"what?""Oh shit!""Fine man you won this time"

thats crumperture for you!

crumperture by dennisd95 January 19, 2009

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016