Early Bloomer

An "Early Bloomer" is a super sexy and horny, non-adult teenage chick, who must therefore be avoided by horny adult males at all cost!

"God damn, look at that sexy bitch!"

"She's an Early Bloomer dude. You better stay away from that shit, unless you feel like going to prison and getting butt raped a hundred times for one fun statuatory rape."

"Thanks for the tip Bro!"

by Peter Crammer November 22, 2006

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bloomberg

Exceptionally wealthy individuals with net worths exceeding $5 billion dollars, bloombergs are typically short males characterized by "Napoleon complexes" and a belief that money can buy anything, including the mayoralty of a major American city. They display extreme arrogance, and enjoy exercising control over other people's behavior and personal freedoms in support of their own personal agendas. Generally self-centered, they often avoid dealing with important issues and focus instead on self-aggrandisement, such as ignoring the re-building the World Trade Center and focussing instead on raising real estate taxes by 18.5 per cent, bringing the Olympics to New York City, building an unneccessary sports complex on New York's West Side or replacing soft drinks with Snapple in New York City public schools. They also tend to favor using public monies to pay poor people to change their behavior, such as providing cash incentives for unwed mothers to seek pre-natal medical care and rewarding unmotivated, drug-addicted hip-hop youth to attend school. Attitudinally controlling, bloombergs oppose cigarette smoking and foods with trans-fatty acids, while displaying speech patterns punctuated with whiny voices and excessive, improper use of the word "ways," as in "we've got a long ways to go." A key indicator of a bloomberg is someone who believes that New Yorkers face greater dangers from crossing the street or smoking cigarettes than they do from another Islamo-fascist terrorist attack.

"Hey douchebag, stop trying to control my life. You're such a bloomberg."

by The Wyndbraker October 8, 2006

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