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I could eat a knob at night

Said first by Karl Pilkington- a fantastic idiot with a head like an orange- in conversation on The Ricky Gervais Show podcast about 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' and a celebrity eating a kangaroo penis.
Ricky: "So what're you saying??"
Karl: "I'm saying...I could eat a knob at night."
by Auntie Nora November 16, 2007
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a complete and utter wanker

Derogatory English slang for one who masturbates i.e. a jerk off.
That bloke's driving a Range Rover, what a complete and utter wanker
by confarga September 28, 2005
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Related Words

it takes a lickin' and it keeps on tickin'

1. A Timex slogan stating that their wristwatches could take a beating and still tell the correct time.

2. When someone in a fight in a movie is beat up more than what would cause a real person to die, yet still survives and fights back.
1. TIMEX: It takes a lickin' and it keeps on tickin'.

2. Achilles was shot several times with arrows and then I said, wow, it takes a lickin' and it keeps on tickin'. Then he got shot in his tendon.
by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter February 19, 2008
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a whole ass

Used casually as a unit of measurement, referring to a person or object
wow she just had a whole ass baby !
by Latinprinxess October 15, 2017
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erect as a 5 a.m. penis

adj. Describing something that is very straight or stiff, or someone standing that way.
Tennis instructor: "Evan, you have to bend your knees on that shot!"
Evan: "What, I'm not getting down low enough?"
Tennis instructor: "Low enough? You're as erect as a 5 a.m. penis."
by stockman09 November 22, 2010
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I am not a financial advisor

A term used by degenerates who want the credibility and reputation of an actual financial advisor but don't want the accountability and liability that comes along with it. Mainly used by room temperature IQ individuals on TikTok, Youtube, Twitter, etc under the age 21 who probably don't even have a degree, CFA, or any knowledge about basic economics yet feel the need to give financial advice.

You can find them on social media using terms like #ToTheMoon #Stonks #DiamondHands and bandwagoning the latest hype stock or meme crypto and then never to be seen again until another hype stock is talked about by the masses as they don't know anything else about the financial world other than riding the current trend.

They are somewhat related to furus (fake gurus) who want to sell you $1000 courses on stock market education you could probably find on the internet with a few minutes of research. These wannabe financial advisors love to talk about meme stocks and cryptos as well as telling people to #BuyTheDip or #HODL #DoNotSell while still putting in their disclaimer "All posts are opinions and I do not give buy, hold, or sell recommendations."

The problem with these fake advisors is that they think saying they aren't financial advisors creates a loophole where they can't be held liable for their advice. This is literally the same concept as using copyrighted material and saying "No copyright infringement intended" which completely contradicts their statement.
Actual financial advisor: I use highly complex algorithms and statistical modeling to determine accurate probabilities on my investments and can show you that investing in the S&P500 index has proven to give around a 10% return for the past 10 years

Wannabe financial advisor: stonks go brrr, doge to the moon, buy the dip guys, apes strong together *loses life savings after yoloing it on 0 day expiration options*

Actual financial advisor: This person definitely has "I am not a financial advisor" in their bio
by Mediocre Quant June 17, 2021
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BACA (Being a Cynical Asshole) Disorder

Psychological disorder that develops sometime after puberty, just as full maturity is about to be reached. This disorder appears when everything and everybody you found cool as a teenager suddenly starts looking really lame, unoriginal, boring, douchy and most of all, shitty. People who suffer from it (a very small percentage of the population, as the vast majority keep on loving all this mediocrity well into their last days...) are not afraid to call people around them on their bullshit, and sometimes do so to the point of alienating themselves; therefore developing a very strong, independent, supreme-asshole personality (although some of them hate themselves for liking such utter crap at some early point of their lives).
- "Baby, let's go watch that new Gerard Butler movie, it looks funny..."
- "What?!?? I'd rather slit my penis' vein with a rusty bottle cap than having to sit through that piece of movie-making rape!!!! Call one of your douchy girlfriends..."
- "I see, your BACA (Being a Cynical Asshole) Disorder is acting up again. Better yet! Who the hell wants to sit in a dark theater next to your grouchy ass??..."
by iransan August 3, 2011
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