Severus Snape is the Potions teacher of
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is also the head of Slytherin, and notorious for hating any
house but his own, especially Gryffindor, and especially Harry Potter, the title character of the widely
popular series.
Severus is described to be tall and lanky, have sallow, tired
skin, greasy black
hair, moustache, and goatee, and to be, well, batlike and quite
ugly in general. He was widely hated by all Potter fans until Alan Rickman came along. Alan Rickman, a very suave, graceful man with a silky
British voice, was cast to play Severus in the movies. When our
sexy-for-a-sixty-year-old friend suddenly appeared, Severus went from being loathed, to an object of greatness for some.
Most of these 'some' are ditzy fangirls, who often have sexual fantasies about Severus, or write fanfiction about his gay and/or illegal relationships with other characters or themselves. The other small percentage of this category just think he's awesome, has a cool voice/accent, and has had a sucky life. Those few also believe that he does not deserve to have fangirls clinging to his robes every second, letting out ear-shattering squeals of fangasming.
Severus Snape: "I am Professor Snape, the Potions Master."
Fangirl: "SQUEE! I can has yoo do secksiness with
Harry andz Draco plz?"
Severus: "I am sorry. I do not speak
fangirl. Ten points from Gryffindor."
Fangirl: "OHEMSQUEE!"
Cool Person: "Oh my fricken' gawd shut the hell up!"
Severus runs away as the Cool Person whips out a chainsaw and battles the merciless Fangirl to the death, but not before rewarding the Cool Person with a galleon.
Cool Person: Thanks Severus!
Severus shouts back while running away, "Don't spend it all in one place!"
