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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Jesus Christ

by big_nae_nae August 11, 2023
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Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ: Jesus Christ is the son of God the Father. and he is also called the angel of YHWH in the Old Testament of the Bible. He came down to earth over 2000 years ago and he lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He was the ultimate sacrifice since he was God in the flesh, so his death meant that everybody's sins past present, and future were paid for. The only problem is, people actually have to accept his gift of salvation in order to receive it. You can choose to reject this gift.
by KekolordChri February 14, 2024
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Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.
Person: Jesus Christ died for you!
by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024
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steezus christ

a holy man who shredded for our sins with his skate board, all while listening to to Even Flow by Pearl Jam.
“WOAH! IS THAT STEEZUS CHRIST DOING A KICK FLIP TO EVEN FLOW?”
by prevailthebride November 30, 2023
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Jesus Christ the Nazarene

person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023
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Steezus Christ

Someone who will shred your sins away, looking extremely sexy for an 13 year old man with a full grown beard and the hole-iness of God himself. Damn, they must be full of holes. My favorite, h ttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/1vgUl9ASXh0
Steezus Christ will shred the shit out of God himself, not just our sins.
by PORGSSSS December 30, 2023
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