A vampire is any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self expression, but they can assume many seductive forms.
1) The pigmy vampire:
Will swarm around you head like gnats and say things like:
"Your teeth need whitening."
"You went to state school?"
"You sound weird."
"Shakespeare, Sondheim, Sedaris did it before you and better than you."
"You cannot sing good enough to be in a musical."
2) The air freshener vampire:
She might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny.
She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating and will urge you to spray it up with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs.
She wants you to clean it up and clean it out which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless, but you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs of kittens that your grandma would be so proud of.
3) The vampire of despair:
It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like:
"Who do you think you’re kidding?"
"You look like a fool."
"No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough."
1) The pigmy vampire:
Will swarm around you head like gnats and say things like:
"Your teeth need whitening."
"You went to state school?"
"You sound weird."
"Shakespeare, Sondheim, Sedaris did it before you and better than you."
"You cannot sing good enough to be in a musical."
2) The air freshener vampire:
She might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny.
She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating and will urge you to spray it up with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs.
She wants you to clean it up and clean it out which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless, but you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs of kittens that your grandma would be so proud of.
3) The vampire of despair:
It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like:
"Who do you think you’re kidding?"
"You look like a fool."
"No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough."
by Lauren!! July 7, 2008
Get the vampire mug.n. A person who uses your electronic device to power their electronic device.
v. To plug into another person's device to power your own.
v. To plug into another person's device to power your own.
by Stormneedle March 6, 2010
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Vampires
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As seen on the third episode of the third season of True Blood:
Vampire Hate Fuck is the act of angrily twisting a person's head backwards a complete 180 degrees so that you don't have to look at their face while you fuck them violently out of pure hate and spite. Unlike rape, this experience is welcomed by the person having their head twisted.
Vampire Hate Fuck is the act of angrily twisting a person's head backwards a complete 180 degrees so that you don't have to look at their face while you fuck them violently out of pure hate and spite. Unlike rape, this experience is welcomed by the person having their head twisted.
by Doctor Amaazing July 6, 2010
Get the Vampire Hate Fuck mug.does not need to sleep at all. immune to garlic. weaknesses include : breasts, humid weather, and jazz
by Dr. Watts February 7, 2006
Get the super vampire mug.by DarkAngelOfIllusion October 25, 2009
Get the The Vampire's Assistant mug.Susie: Are you menstruating?
Veronica: Hellz yes I am, would you like to eat me out?
Susie: Fuck ya! I am a Lesbian Vampire!
Veronica: Hellz yes I am, would you like to eat me out?
Susie: Fuck ya! I am a Lesbian Vampire!
by German Whore June 7, 2009
Get the Lesbian Vampire mug.Adjective describing something awesome, amazing, cool or fascinating having to do with vampires in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga.
by Katiedid1023 August 13, 2008
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