Tony Two Canoes

A man who attempts to look stronger by standing unnaturally straight and holding their arms out to the side, making it look like they're carrying two canoes. A close relative to the try-hard.

"Look at Tony Two Canoes over there, what a fagget"

by heyitzaj July 5, 2016

Douche Canoe

A person, usually male, who you wish would row, row, row the fuck away from you.

OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.

by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025

Cano

When you drink an iced shaken espresso and shit like a volcano

I canod all morning.

Brb I gotta go Cano.

by Choppa chat June 30, 2022

Douche canoe

A person who reaches the apex of douche baggery. This person is generally a loser that lives in a small town and act like he is a bad ass. Rumor has it that most Steve's are douche canoes, though douche canoes have other names as well. Rumor also has it that Steve's who are douche canoes also have a small penis which explains their napoleon complex.

Steve is such a douche canoe, there is no one in earth that compares. If there were Olympics that involved douche canoe racing, he would get the gold every time.

by Steveisabitchassdouchecanoe December 15, 2017

Douche Canoe

Someone, such as a business leader or head of school who makes a drastic change at the last minute that impacts the entire staff and gives 0 fucks about it.

T:"there is a safety issue with the building. What should we do?"
J:"extend the school year at the last minute of course!"
T:"perfect! Morale is low anyway, so fuck'em"

Staff:"wow....what a bunch of douche canoes"

by AlSnow June 12, 2023

Backwater Canoeing

When you drop your toothbrush into the dirty sink or toilet and keep using it because you're too drunk or lazy to care. Also applies to when you knock someone elses toothbrush into the toilet and put it back without telling them.

I got home last night and dropped my toothbrush in the crapper. Nothin like a little late night backwater canoeing!

by ducockus234 August 29, 2012

Roof Canoe

someone who is utterly useless at their sole purpose

Julia is a roof canoe at cooking

by roofcanoe May 1, 2020