by Bigdickvincent March 12, 2022
Get the Heffer mug.Located at the very ends of the likeability spectrum, the "Good" Hafford family paradigm is, "If we like you, well help you build your camp. If we don't, we'll burn your camp down and bury you behind it." While the "Bad" category could be describe politely as the person (or persons) that will steal everything in your camp, then, at 5 times the price, sell you a broken down generator to replace the stolen wiring.
The Hafford lifestyle largely revolves around a family aspect, at any time, a small army remains at the ready.
Familial Ties include:
- descendants of military beserkers ready to defend family, body, soul, & property
- an alibi for just about any crime¹ including 3rd party witness statements
- shelter
- child rearing assistance
- at least one "lumberjack" meal
- utilization of any operating vehicle and accessories
- assistance in relocating personal belongings, certain cadavers, & items that may (or may not) have been obtained in fair market exchanges
It is common to encounter a Hafford during daily activities due to the large number of genetically related members. "To meet a cousin wherever one goes...." is not an exaggeration in the Hafford lifestyle. A response of "Who wants to know?" to the question "Are you a Hafford?" will confirm identification.
¹Excluding certain degrees of murder and all sexual crimes
The Hafford lifestyle largely revolves around a family aspect, at any time, a small army remains at the ready.
Familial Ties include:
- descendants of military beserkers ready to defend family, body, soul, & property
- an alibi for just about any crime¹ including 3rd party witness statements
- shelter
- child rearing assistance
- at least one "lumberjack" meal
- utilization of any operating vehicle and accessories
- assistance in relocating personal belongings, certain cadavers, & items that may (or may not) have been obtained in fair market exchanges
It is common to encounter a Hafford during daily activities due to the large number of genetically related members. "To meet a cousin wherever one goes...." is not an exaggeration in the Hafford lifestyle. A response of "Who wants to know?" to the question "Are you a Hafford?" will confirm identification.
¹Excluding certain degrees of murder and all sexual crimes
1. "Are you a Hafford?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Hey! Cousin!"
2. "Damn dude, I'm screwed! I beat up Alfred's sister. He's got the Hafford cousins on my ass!"
"Who wants to know?"
"Hey! Cousin!"
2. "Damn dude, I'm screwed! I beat up Alfred's sister. He's got the Hafford cousins on my ass!"
by A Hafford May 28, 2022
Get the Hafford mug.Related Words
haffe
• haffey
• Haffed
• Haffee
• Haffenated
• haffenin
• haffenintoo
• Haffenreffer
• Haffenwrecker
• Haffet
Heffer: a way to describe people that you view as swag and epic. A baddass bitch per say. A cool chum. A stylin person who just knows the vibes and is always poppin a perk but is also down to earth and can sit with you for an espresso and a great conversation.
Friend 1: hey I’m getting lunch tomorrow with Sophia Boin, have you heard anything about her?
Friend 2: no way… that’s my motherfucking heffer.
Friend 1: oh thank god. I love hanging with a heffa.
Friend 2: ya no worries, you’re goonin with a real heff, your in good hands heffa.
Friend 1: thanks heffer, love you.
Friend 2: np my heffa, give that heffa Sophia my best.
Friend 2: no way… that’s my motherfucking heffer.
Friend 1: oh thank god. I love hanging with a heffa.
Friend 2: ya no worries, you’re goonin with a real heff, your in good hands heffa.
Friend 1: thanks heffer, love you.
Friend 2: np my heffa, give that heffa Sophia my best.
by Mamaheffer June 2, 2022
Get the Heffer mug.by Atalin July 16, 2022
Get the Hefferroni mug.Named after Pudge Heffelfinger who was a guard at Yale. It means to finger blast a lady so well that she will become a simp for daddy for the rest of her years. No one will come between her heffelfingering daddy and her. uWu
by Daddy Heffelfinger September 20, 2022
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by ispeakonlythetruthbecauseican October 4, 2022
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