Microsoft Sam

The most common default text-to-speech voice on Microsoft Windows computers. MS Sam is often used to say funny words or to sound like a helicopter.

You may also know MS Sam from the YouTube series, Arby and the Chief; MS Sam plays Chief.

Classroom friend, Joe: "Hey Matt, watch this!"
Microsoft Sam: "Penis"
Classroom friend, Matt: "Hah! You made him say penis"
Teacher: "Hey! Who said penis?!"

by KenzelC April 10, 2010

Microsoft Access

Pile of rotten garbage. May or may not actually work, but guaranteed to have large piles of rotten excrement tucked away in the corner that will explode when least expected.

Of course it blew up, it's Microsoft Access. Who knows what crap was lurking in it.

by Slacker Bob July 23, 2010

microsoft

Organisation bent on world domination masquerading as a software company.

See also Bill Gates; Windows

Fucking shit Microsoft programs

by Alien Entity September 22, 2002

Microsoftie

one who works for Microsoft

I thought James was going to take the job with Sony, but he chose to be a Microsoftie instead.

by hadal September 12, 2004

microsoft customer support

A phrase that may be used to describe anything that does not exist.

"Dude, that unicorn is just like Microsoft customer support!"

by Herter1 February 15, 2009

micrognomoperianaltrichotillomania

See generaly Arse Hair Demon, Klingon Arse-Pinch:

1. A medical affliction involving an infestation of microscopic gnomes with the tendency to pull one's arse-hair at will;

2. A person who is constantly nervous and jumpy is said to suffer from this malady.

N.B. A sufferer of this condition would be micro...trichotillomanic, and the chronic syndrome is micro...trichotillitis.

A longer, alternate form of this word is actually one of the lengthiest words in the English language. Sadly, it cannot be published in the UD because its length is over 40 characters, but here it is, broken-down:
From the Latin: gnomo (having to to with gnomes), ultra-microscopic (very small), perianal (surrounding the anal area), trichotillitis (condition involving hair-pulling)

Alternate form- gnomo...trichotillomania, which refers to particularly bad cases, where the gnomes are under a psychological compulsion to pull as often as possible.

The complete, obsolete, historical form of the word would be:
gnomoultramicroscopic perianal trichotillomania (spelled without the spaces).

What's with George? He jumped when I tapped him on the shoulder. It's like he has a bad case of micrognomoperianaltrichotillomania!

by Sir Neville W.F.G. Mariner, April 22, 2006

microsoft bob

An operating system made by Microsoft in 1995. Instead of a "desktop," it used a "room," where all your programs were objects lying around the room. It also had little talking characters (including a dog named Rover) which tried to give helpful advice but were usually just annoying. If you've never heard of it before, do a search on it or something.

Have you ever used Microsoft Bob? That talking dog is so f*cking annoying!

by a different name June 1, 2006