Masturcrastinating

When your life reaches an all-time low and you stimulate your genitals to avoid facing your obligations.

Bro I really don't wanna study chemistry, that's why I started masturcrastinating.

by grimeguy123 January 16, 2017

masturcate

The act of masturbating as a substitute for medication. It's the combination of masturbate with medicate. Masturcate.

Rather than taking Aspirin, Joe masturcated to relief his headache.

by Manok October 18, 2003

mastercard

The 3rd greatest invention ever. Spend all your money without carrying it round! Can be used to buy nearly everything, except da 1st gr8est invention (weed). Even if u get mugged, u can stop da fuckerz frm spendin yo $$$$'s.

Daughter: Daddy, I need $500!

Pisst of Father: Just take the card and spend as much as u want!

Daughter: yay!

by ultimate_pisshead September 9, 2005

masturbarto

one who engages in the severe act of holding the sausage hostage,YO!Formally known as choking the chode, beating the mince and also attending to the needs of the bung fritz.

That chap seems to have a serious case thy masturbarto....most likely from a lack of crumpets

by le-crumperto October 14, 2006

masturcate

the process of jerking off into a woman's vagina while halfway in; the act of masturbating while fornicating;

I masturcated that girl so hard last night..it was awesome.

by DMoney March 3, 2004

Masturfart

Pronounced (mass-tur-fart)

Simultaneous masturbation and flatulence

Tony says: Hey Jerry there is semen all over the side of the couch and it stinks in here.... Have you been masterfarting?

Jerry says: Yes I just had a solid masturfart session.... Sorry about your mums couch

by Schlumo Gligpuppet November 1, 2010

Masturbardo

Black men who love to see sex between animals. This word is using in the ethnical tribes of Kenia and Congo and then popularize a lot in the ghetto of that countries.

Geez men, you are a masturbardo.

by SopaDeCaballo April 18, 2018