function call

A phone call lasting about 10 seconds on usual and characterized by brief content, consisting of 3 essential parts:
1. Question
2. Answer
3. Hangup
A greeting and a farewell may or may not be included, depending on the situation as well as the callee.

The most important feature of a function call is the absolute lack of smalltalk. Omitting the usual "so what's up" part makes the conversation brief, effective and usually both less time- and cash-consuming compared to texting.
On the other hand, this fact may render function calling incompatible with most women due to their natural chitchat and gossip requirements.

The name is derived from the programming jargon due to the similarities to calling a function in a programming language, which usually includes specifying parameters and obtaining some kind of return value, close to immediately.

"Who was it?"
"Nothing important, just a function call from my buddy. He forgot my email address."

by Kosashi January 31, 2009

fapfiction

Erotic fanfiction; particularly fanfiction where little or no attention has been payed to the actual plot, making the end result little more than a convenient masturbation aid.

Fanfiction.net has a lot of good fanfics, but kink memes usually only provide fapfiction for all your fap-related needs.

by That Vulture Girl September 15, 2009

functioning addict

A person that has an addiction whether it be to alcohol or drugs and still able to maintain a "normal" life.

My boyfriend is a functioning addict. He can drink from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed and still is able to go to work.

by I Can Be Your Cutie April 12, 2008

functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.

Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.

by Brett319 June 17, 2008

Functional alcoholic

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

Functionally High

When a person smokes enough marijuana to feel its effects, but not enough to alter competence at regular daily tasks or create a lasting low after the effects have worn off.

Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.

Person 1: I just got some killer bud from a friend of mine. Wanna smoke?

Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.

by DJAlexxander September 8, 2011

Fanfiction

Fiction about characters or settings from an original work of fiction, created by fans of that work rather than by its creator. Usually it is written smut by children with the intelligence of a baby rhinoceros. However there can be some very good fanfics out there that can be sometimes better then the original work.

Now that i think of it Urban Dictionary is essentially a funny fanfiction site.

by A Human Male July 25, 2018