Roy

Roy is the male version of a Karen. He sports a big fat gut, he’s the armchair quarterback in any fight, and he comes from the trashiest cities you know of. Any story you have, he’s got a better one. He’s a one upper and he wins, you lose. That’s Roy. Roy is the know-it-all. Roy is an omniscient narrator. Roy is the jack-off of all trades and the master of none. Odds are Roy makes complaints and tries to get free shit as a result of said complaints then brags about it. He’s a real liar, scammer, and fraudster. He thinks his time is more valuable than yours and that he’s smarter than you. He’ll ask to speak to the manager in order to one up his loser life. He’ll demand you pay for his dry cleaning bill for his bargain basement Affliction shirt, or replace his iPhone 6 if you had the misfortune of becoming his waitress and accidentally spilled a drink on it. Often accompanied by a golddigger who spends her time injecting her face in attempts to prove that time doesn’t exist and no one is buying it but Roy. Even Stevie Wonder can see these people coming.

Roy and Karen, party of two. We’re going to seat them in your section, ok? Oh no! I can’t wait on that table. I’m too new of an employee here. They’re going to try and het me fired for no reason, for sure.

by TheComplicit September 13, 2020

Flag