Procrastination monkey

A lazy person who often procrastinates and delays their work, often eats bananas and other fruits shaped like a planetarium to stay big and strong.

Johnny: Mike is such a procrastination monkey, he has big dreams that he wants to achieve yet he's just laying there on his couch doing nothing to reach them.
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!

by CookieLikeABookie January 4, 2023

Look at the silly monkey

The phrase is from the TV-show "South Park" and the so-called "Chewbacca defense".

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether or not to reverse the decision for my client, Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen...

This ... is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute - that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit! Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey!

by Springborg June 25, 2008

jump the monkey

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.

Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!

by FurbyFuck10 November 26, 2015

Tactical Battle Monkey

The most weapon efficient in modern warfare. Referred occasionally by retards who like acronyms as TBM, Tactical Battle Monkeys are often ordered by Officers in the US Army and given to Enlisted soldiers without a hint of description about the horrors that lie within the box. The three most common uses for Tactical Battle Monkeys is 1: to scare the crap out of Enlisted Soldiers, 2: tropical warfare and battle through jungles, 3: overall Officer enjoyment

NCO: Dear God, not another shipment....
Enlisted Soldier: What's the matter Serge?

NCO: They ordered more Tactical Battle Monkeys.....we're doomed

by Sgt. Admiral September 12, 2018

garlic butter croissant monkey balls

Someone who really likes garlic butter however, would like it to be in a form of a meatball made from monkey bread.
That's very intellectual as it really tells us about the political state of the world right now.

Person1: What do you think about the political state of the world right now?
Person2: Garlic Butter Croissant Monkey Balls.

by lucaca May 6, 2022

I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester

"I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester," is the definitive, empirically tested retort which wins an argument forever, and for which no come back is possible.

Edbogard: .. and so I think that Sartre was essentially in error when he mistook the homology between ontogeny and...

Pasco: Arrgh! I can't take it any more! I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester!

Edbogard: I...

*thud*

by scodder November 15, 2012

Temple Monkey

Noun. A racial slur relative to Porch Monkey but for people of Jewish decent.

Yo check out those Temple Monkey's picking up pennies!

by Benhar February 12, 2009