Rectal Optosis

It's a rare birth condition where a nerve is connected from your asshole to your eyes. Leading to a shit out look on site.

1: Why is Jeff always in a bad mood.
2: Oh Jeff, yeah he's got rectal optosis. That's why.
1: ahhh that explains everything. Is it curable.
2: only temporary with achol or drugs and nicotine just superses it a little.
1: por guy

by Con_man641 January 31, 2022

rectal plumber

A trades man of the highest order in relation to realigning the internal pipework and plumbing of the rectal cavities of others by vigorous use of his lady tickler. Whether they be a male who is turdburgling another male, a man who is kicking in the back door of his lady friend. Or a lady who has strapped on a prostrate pulveriser to even the score with the man in her life. Rectal plumbing is never soft and gentle and is always executed with vim and vigour. Often accompanied by name calling and hair pulling. Energetic thrusting and circular movements of the phallic instrument within the fartbarn of the other person is a must. Often leading to next day fart barnacles and the inability to pass solid stools.

Dude what's wrong with your mum, she's walking funny, moaning and holding her stomach?
Oh, my dad has a Nobel Prize in rectal plumbing and I think whilst he was in there he adjusted her lower intestines. She always said "Don't give me a rich man, give me a rectal plumber who'll leave me feeling like I've been kicked in the baby maker"

See Jolene over there, I rectally plumbed her last night. Man I got up in that fartbarn like the Nazis storming into Poland. Got me an Iron Cross off the Furher for services as a rectal plumber.

So Sebastian how was your date with Peter?
It was like somebody superglued an octopus to end of a hammer drill, shoved it up my fartbarn and turned it up to max. That boy has crazy rectal plumbing skills. He's the rectal plumber I've been waiting for since Uncle Frank introduced me to cock all those years ago. Anal Arse fucking Anal devastation Reamed

by Fitz2815 February 23, 2017

rectal fart

the act of both shitting and pooping at the same time

person 1: "i just had a rectal fart"

person 2: "bro wtf"

by the true meme boi January 6, 2021

rectal plunger

The name you give a guy's dick if he fucks you in the ass and then pulls out, after which you take a shit.

God, I was so constipated last night, and then John and I buttfucked, and boy, was his dick a rectal plunger! I took a huge shit right on his face!

by BooSackNoodle November 4, 2014

Rectal Speedboat

A rectal speedboat is where your partner is in the bath, you run in hover your anus just in the water and let out a ripper fart, the sound that follows sounds like a backfiring speedboat engine

Oh my partner ruined my bath last night and gave me the rectal speedboat

I’ve been victim to a rectal speedboat

by Siege of Society December 13, 2018

rectal virginity

What a person who has never been the passive partner in anal intercourse possesses.

A textbook about preserving one's rectal virginity in prison should be a best seller in Baltimore.

by Rahula June 30, 2015

Rectal Meat Sack

The Saggy Meat Rag involves 1 male and 2 females. From here is when the male allows both females to wear humongous straps (12+ inches) and allows them to take turns railing him so hard to where his rectum eventually sags out of his ass. At this point the male will proceed get head by both females at the same time, one sucking his penis and the other sucking his Rectal Meat Sack.

Female: hey, can I suck that shit stained Rectal Meat Sack?
Male: Sure!!!

by UrbDicMenace August 3, 2025