an imaginary friend you have till you reach maturity. understandibly a large majority of the worlds population have not reached that stage in development. the are called "christians"'. they ban condoms, condem homosexuals and hang blacks. otherwise they are a reasonable sort. btw... he was a carpenter that lived with his mother, who was a virgin... yeah... hes cool.
little girl -"mommy... whens jesus coming back...?"
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
by jewboylol November 12, 2009
Get the jesusmug. Oh Jesus your so attractive.
by Bob1212121212121 December 8, 2017
Get the Jesusmug. by madeeeeeeeeee October 1, 2008
Get the jesu!mug. Jesus of Nazareth was a Jewish theologian who taught (among other things) an exciting and sophisticated view of the afterlife and a somewhat unusual theological perspective that God is love. His social and moral teachings (especially those on women) were quite progressive, and some of his teaching was so heterodox that he was considered a false prophet and a corrupter of the Jewish faith by the Sanhedrin.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Jesus: I come to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
by A Former Christian December 29, 2011
Get the Jesusmug. The business of spreading the Gospel and saving souls (for a profit, of course.) Business practice made popular by such personalities as Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, Oral Roberts and other charismatic con-men with shiny suits and big hair.
by PilotMikeTX October 14, 2006
Get the jesunessmug. A mythical person just as real as the lockness monster, the boogie man, Pamela Anderson's boobs and the possibility of you having a 13inch penis
by Brodie DCLXVI July 4, 2008
Get the Jesusmug. some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 6, 2011
Get the jesusmug.