Chinese Butthole Trap

Tension has been building since your entrance of the doctor's office. You flinch as you ever so gently sit down on the parchment paper lined examination bed. You start having flash backs; a urologist and his handful of students fondling your sugarlumps in turn. Erection during an STD swab. Terrible fellatio. You could hear him/hopefully her walk ever closer to your soon-to-be victimized anal cavity. You surpass the inevitable paperwork foreplay--and amidst the unspoken and insurmountable hostility, your doctor completely submerges his/hopefully her finger into your butthole. That is your queue. You squeeze tighter than you ever have before. Tighter than the time you watched Edward Norton get sodomized in American History X. You don't cease the sphincter constrictor until the medical examiner has agreed to write you off as never needing another colonoscopy.

If your doctor fails to comply with the set terms, it may be appropriate to pull out the big guns. You tell the medic that there is a tape recorder set in the cabinet on the other side of the room; however, you both must trek over to the cabinet, as one, in fear of him/her losing a finger. Inside the doctor will find a recorder with a short synopsis of their medical career, and how much he has done with that index finger. Just when it starts to sound optimistic, it digresses to how he could potentially lose it. All of which is presented with the mood set by another tape recorder looping the Saw theme.

I wanted to be a doctor when I was little. Then I heard about the Chinese Butthole Trap.

by Jenkemberry Fields Forever June 13, 2010

poo chimes

an insulting term for dreadlocks, named after their resemblance to wind chimes but made of poo.

the hippy broke his neck when one of his longest poo chimes got caught in the rear wheel of his bicycle, it was gross.

by privatemike August 26, 2009

Chinese Safety Goggles

Chinese Safety Goggles. When you dont have any safety goggles on hand and need to protect your eyes, you simply squint. Looking like a china-man and protecting your peepers.

John: "Hey Brian arent you going to use some safety goggles when you are tearing apart that tile floor?"

Brian: "Naw bra I dont need them. I have my Chinese Safety Goggles on. I never leave home without these baddies."

by Brain the Great January 28, 2010

University of Indians and Chinese

The University of Indians and Chinese is not a real college. It is a named often associated with the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC). People often use this name to describe the real UIC because their are many Indians and Chinese. It is pointed out, however, that this usage is racists because there are many Russians and Filipinos there as well.

Example:

Guy 1: Where do you go to school?

Guy 2: I go to UIC.

Guy 1: Ohhh. The University of Indians and Chinese eh?

Guy 2: No! Actually I saw a white girl there today, so ha!

by Todd W December 14, 2006

Chinese-Eyed

Stoned. Intoxicated from smoking pot. Refers to being droopy-eyed

Duuude, I am SO chinese-eyed, lets roll to Taco-Rama and stuff mucho Grindage

by Wuffageeter May 25, 2007

all that and (a bag of ) chips

Adj. 1) A superlative form of all that; something or someone which possesses all desired qualities PLUS unimagined or unforseen bonuses.

"Your supermodel boyfriend isn't jealous that you're also dating his twin brother?"
"No, girl; he's all that'n' a bag of chips!"

by T2M tha 4N6DV8 November 13, 2003

chupes

a fun-loving lesbian that idles in #absolutepunk on wondernet.

Your mom was acting rather chupes last night.

by omgwtfbbq! March 28, 2005