massage envy

the worst fucking place in the entire world.

i’m going to hell, massage envy.

by twbshdi34 February 23, 2024

Iraqi Massage

1. Joe's price of admission into a cult.
2. Andrew's second income.

I'll take another Iraqi Massage please. Its lonely and I need to get the sand out of my peen

by BackwardsRetard April 12, 2023

Necrotic Massage

Unlike an erotic massage that’s fun and sensual, a necrotic message is when Heather gets spanked so bad in foosball her body starts to eat itself in shame. An arm is usually amputated.

Jackson gave heather a necrotic massage at dog bar last night. She still hasn’t recovered.

by Jterp June 6, 2025

Ball Massage

A non sexual massage of the testicular region

Hey kyra I would like to give you a Ball Massage

by freybeja November 24, 2021

Massages

a pornstar who likes to massage someone or selling her body for a profitable gain

Your Massages friend uses her hand so well

by Official Diksyunaryow June 11, 2021

National massage boobs day

You massage any girl boobs on Every other month and the holiday starts November!!!!!

Hi Girlllsss! YOU KNOW it's that month, last month it was skipped, so i get to massage your boobs! ITS NATIONAL MASSAGE BOOBS DAYYYYY!!!!

by Omran's lover October 16, 2019

Marty Massage

A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.

Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!

Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)

Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.

Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?

Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!

Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!

Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.

Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.

Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!

by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011