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Von Schitzenpants

The commissioner of a fantasy football league that comes last every year. Often, their partner forces them to trade all their good players. This means they are known for collusion.
If I don’t win this week I’ll feel like a Von Schitzenpants.

I can’t believe you Von Schitzenpantsed again!

I’m not worried this week.. I’m playing Von Schitzenpants.
by Divorce Court November 9, 2024
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Weiner-schnitzled

I saw John getting his weiner-schnitzled at Walmart.
by John Schnitzle January 2, 2026
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Related Words

Fitzing the schlitz

When two people engage in this, you'll know. Open a window, turn on a fan, and hope you're not a direct relative of either party.
Brad: "Dude, open a window, I just smelled them fitzing the schlitz."

Tim: "Shit, that was my cousin"

Brad: "Dude, you just got fitzed by relation"

Tim: Commits seppuku
by Larroldo Rivera December 27, 2008
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Hot Crossed Schnitzel

The act of hitting a penis layed out on a flat surface with something heavy, causing immense pain.
My woman wanted to ride me on the table, but my dick missed the hole and she gave me hot crossed schnitzel. Still freaked her anyway.
by Sam Majik November 3, 2016
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To pull a Tom Schmitz

Pulling a Tom Schmitz per definition is referring to a mental state, in which input is blocked from the brain.

That is, the person that is "Pulling a Tom Schmitz" does not react, nor reflect on the information that is being transmitted to him/her from the outside environment.

While some people claim it has to do with an abundance of grease within the persons ear canal, the non-reflective look in the individuals eyes hints on a higher level of soul selling that is being conducted in the very moment a "Tom Schmitz is pulled".

The mental state can last up to 18 minutes without interruption.

Careful: Waking a Tom Schmitz pulling person up can result in the confusion of this person, a sub-state that can take days to recover from. Tom Schmitz pulling persons need to revive from the 5th Dimension in a self-aware manner.

Common Slang in the Central European Area.
Person A: "Hey what do you want to have for lunch?"

*No reaction*

Person A: "Man, can you answer?...HEY!!"
*No reaction*
Person pulling a Tom Schmitz: "O_0"

--> To pull a Tom Schmitz
by tiffanyleckmisch June 8, 2018
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