wanker

A complete tosser. Someone who makes
as little effort as they can possibly
get away with.

In British English that's what "wanker"
means - it does not literely mean
a masterbater (though doubt he is one).

Just as "he's a bugger" does not
literally mean he commits sodomy...

"He's just a wanker. I told him to clear
up and, two hours later, he was still
just sitting there reading the paper
and picking his nose"

by martin November 10, 2003

wanker

The U.K. equivalent of the U.S. noun "jerk", in that they both originated in calling someone a masturbator but have long since evolved into a general way of describing one as an unintelligent, nasty fool. "Wanker" most often means dolt or moron whereas "jerk" more often implies malevolence.

The bloody wanker can't even follow my most basic instructions.

by jawbone April 22, 2010

Wankers Whiplash

a sensation experienced when having a wank but you are disturbed by someone openning the door etc and you must turn around or pull your pants up very quickly.

I was having a wank yesterday when my mum was out but she came home early and I got wankers whiplash

by Aff September 27, 2005

wanker washer

Someone who washes their penis on the urinal flush stream. To do this, they normally thrust their pelvis (and thus penis) deep into the urinal, until the penis touches the stream. They will then flush the urinal, often repeatedly, until they deem their penis to be clean. Paper towel is then used to dry the penis.

One variant is to just use a paper towel (available in most public washrooms) run the paper towel under the urinal stream, and then wash the penis manually with the paper towel.

That guy is a "wanker washer". I saw him washing his wanker in the urinal yesterday.

by Dave March 4, 2003

wanker pipe

Large bore exhaust pipe attached to Vauxhaul Novas/Astras by Chavs in the misinterpreted impression that it will make these shitty motors go faster. So called because you have to be a wanker to want to attach one.

Look at the wanker pipe on his Punto

by CrazyDiamond January 27, 2005

wanker

1) a bloke who whacks off alot.
2) a term of endearment...an insult that's actually a kind of compliment
3) a total insult

1) ryan's been in the shower for hours! he must be wanking for britain! i always knew he was a complete wanker
2) ryan ya wanker, get your arse down to the pub and i'll buy you a pint
3) tony blair is a fucking wanker.

by #1 brit extraordinaire. April 22, 2003

wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.

1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.

by Joniquai March 20, 2005