wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.

1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.

by Joniquai March 20, 2005

Cactuses

The correct way to addess two or more cactus plants. Addressing them as cacti is no longer acceptable as upon hearing this the cactuses feel unloved; cactuses like to be treated as individuals.

Please go and stroke my cactuses for me

by Joniquai January 05, 2004

C-Unit

Alternative to calling someone a cunt.

You stupid fucking C-Unit.

I wanna fuck you up your C-Unit

Man, she has one tasty C-Unit

Her C-Unit needs a good scrub

by Joniquai January 05, 2004

beef and beer

Tasty Beef, Beer of your choice and a whole bunch of happiness for under £3.

Barmaid: "How can I help you?"

Punter: "Beef and Beer"

Barmaid: "That's £2.99 please"

Punter: (Nods knowingly) "Safe"

by Joniquai February 10, 2004

gimpery

Gimpery is to Gimps as Buggery is to randy little Buggers.

You boy, stop that gimpery post-haste.

by Joniquai January 05, 2004

Playground

Place to go and pick up a younger bird.

You coming down the playground in a bit, dean, to pick up some fifteen year olds?

by Joniquai January 05, 2004

Ivan-Dan-Dean-Roy

Extension upon the rudeboy's favourite sign off "dan".

"Yo comin for a balze later innit dan"

becomes:

"Shall we partake in the smoking of the finest Marijuana later, Ivan-Dan-Dean-Roy?"

by Joniquai January 05, 2004