Definitions by Joniquai

wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.

1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.

wanker's length by Joniquai March 20, 2005

nob sneeze 

male ejaculation. especially thick, male ejaculation.

1.oh shit, i'm gonna nob sneeze!

2.she still had the remains of last night's nob sneeze in her hair.

3.i am about to sneeze on your face.

nob sneeze by Joniquai March 20, 2005

beef and beer 

Tasty Beef, Beer of your choice and a whole bunch of happiness for under £3.

Barmaid: "How can I help you?"

Punter: "Beef and Beer"

Barmaid: "That's £2.99 please"

Punter: (Nods knowingly) "Safe"

beef and beer by Joniquai February 10, 2004

Ivan-Dan-Dean-Roy 

Extension upon the rudeboy's favourite sign off "dan".

"Yo comin for a balze later innit dan"

becomes:

"Shall we partake in the smoking of the finest Marijuana later, Ivan-Dan-Dean-Roy?"

Ivan-Dan-Dean-Roy by Joniquai January 5, 2004

Playground 

Place to go and pick up a younger bird.

You coming down the playground in a bit, dean, to pick up some fifteen year olds?

Playground by Joniquai January 5, 2004

C-Unit 

Alternative to calling someone a cunt.

You stupid fucking C-Unit.

I wanna fuck you up your C-Unit

Man, she has one tasty C-Unit

Her C-Unit needs a good scrub

C-Unit by Joniquai January 5, 2004

Cactuses 

The correct way to addess two or more cactus plants. Addressing them as cacti is no longer acceptable as upon hearing this the cactuses feel unloved; cactuses like to be treated as individuals.

Please go and stroke my cactuses for me

Cactuses by Joniquai January 5, 2004