jesus h christ

an expression of surprised digust. The H probably stands for "Holy."

"Jesus H. Sufferin' Christ."

by Valda October 14, 2003

the passion of the christ

I saw it, I hated it. 90% of the movie is just beatings and Jesus walking his cross to its resting point. What a waste of time.

(Mel Gibson thinking) Hmm, if i make a really bloody movie, starring Jesus, everyone will go see it MUWHAHAHAHA!

by Oz March 24, 2005

Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Commonly found amongst Wattpad Fanfiction short stories-

I was resting in my bed, reading a Wattpad Cole Sprose fanfiction when suddenly Cole appears in the doorway!
I smile but my expression quickly changes as he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall.
He whispers softly in my ear, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
“Amen.” I whisper back.
Suddenly, I am rudely awoken by my alarm clock and I cry as I realize I’ll never be able to talk to Cole about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

by MondayHatesYouToo September 23, 2020

jesus tap dancing christ

Exclaiming Jesus and invoking his name in such a way, that it seems like a diplomatic approach.

Jesus tap dancing christ Martha ! Bertha just had twins, and they have 2 right feet.

by jeffbo April 29, 2009

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ

A reason to shout out this word is..To be in utter Dismay, to see something so insanely intense, You'll shit bricks for a week, Handicapping you to walk like you have a dildo shoved up your ass.

Warning: Saying this word may cause you to tap dance uncontrollably, like how Bill Cosby says "God Dammit!", or "Jesus Christ!", even as much as how he slurs his speech, which sounds like he has a dildo shoved down his throat.

Little Sally: Hiya Little Billy!

Little Billy: Hey Sally!

*Sally gets Orbital nuked, while being eaten by the Kool-Aid Man*

Little Billy: Holy Jesus Tap Dancing Christ!

*Billy shits bricks, Tap-Dances home with dildo shoved up his ass, and tells parents about what happened to Sally which then causes a 'Brick-Shitting Chain Reaction*

by PwnCakez November 8, 2009

jesus h christ

name; Jesus Henry Christ. The illegitimate son of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene and the grandson of god. Today used as an expression of amazement or excitement which has carried over from his lifetime. When Mary would introduce his as Jesus H Christ, people would reapeat it in disbelief.

Mary: Hey luke, have you met my son, and the grandson of god, Jesus H Christ?
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Praise your Grandpa! Are you here to die for our sins like your old man? Hey what does the H stand for?
Jesus H Christ: Henry
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Turn some water to wine! Let's party!
Jesus H Christ: hallelujah! Your prayers have been heard! Bring out the water!
Mary: Jesus H Christ! You'r to young to drink.
Jesus H Christ: My Grandpa damn you!
Luke: Jesus H Christ!, you said it.

and so on

by C.W. Anderson III September 26, 2005

Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ is a mythological character stemming from Christian lore. The "H" in the middle of the names is believed to stand for a number of things, ranging from "Holy" to "Harold," However, recent evidence suggests that the "H" actually stands for "HeySeuss." This story book character's middle name was inserted recently in order to pay homage to the greatest children's story teller of all time: Dr. Seuss. While the movement started as something of a cult tradition, it quickly made its way into pop culture, even appearing on the silver screen from time to time as a profanity. This is of course wildly inappropriate to true followers as it is disrespectful to take the good Doctor'said name in vain. As a happy coincidence of this fan-fabricated name, the Hispanic pronunciation of the first name is also taught upon reading the middle name.

God: Do you mind if I name my child after you?
Dr. Seuss: It would be an honor.
God: He shall be called Jesus HeySuess Christ.
Dr. Seuss: Jesus H. Christ, a fine name for a main character.

by DefiningReality June 3, 2017