Church hoe 

Men who claim to be Christian but use women for sex while enroute to marriage to another woman. A preacher who cheats on his wife. A man who fornicates while claiming to be saved. Wolves in shephard's clothes. A saved man with children with numerous women. Christian men who rape.

Most Preachers are church hoes.

Church hoe by GiftofGodsFavor December 12, 2013

Church of Pohawk 

The religion that considers Pohawk to be the one true pony

Male members of the The Church of Pohawk are expected to have a mane or mohawk, or wear a hat to hide their blasphemy.

Church of Pohawk by Charles G Elwood October 11, 2006

church-ray vision 

The ability to access religious data about a person just by making eye contact.

Whenever I wonder where I should do my missionary work I just use my church-ray vision and stare people down.

church-ray vision by Parisotto March 3, 2008

church doors 

when a woman's outer labia completely conceal her inner labia and clit.

I was fuckin' this bitch last night with some church doors.

church doors by juggalette juliet January 19, 2009

Church Police

People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.

Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."

Church Police by Turkey Trot March 14, 2011

church (adjective) 

The act of being very prude. (usually for religious reasons)

1. I tried to get it in with that girl last night
2. what happened?
1. she church (adjective) AF
2. i knew that was a purity ring

church (adjective) by BPteamGORRILLA August 20, 2012

church tits 

When a girl has breasts that look small but are actually huge.

I hooked up with her last night and damn, she has church tits!

church tits by pancakegirl January 9, 2016