Pet my puppy

When a man with a tiny penis (we'll just use the name Chris) uses a bad excuse such as "Pet my puppy" as slang for handjob or another sexual act.

Chris: "Hey ally lets go pet my puppy ;)
Ally: "KAYYYY"

by Limitlessflow July 26, 2009

puppy love

The act of developing a fake surface crush on somebody of the opposite sex, usually because you're too much of a pussy to actually speak to them. This is usually attributed to the large loner community. Due to their inability to make the approach and introduce themselves, these people resort to "watching" their crush from afar, daydreaming about them, etc. This usually leads to heavy depression once they're struck with the realization that they will never get to be with this person. However, it should be noted that the ecstasy these people feel upon visualizing their crush for the first few weeks is far more exciting than one could ever imagine. After the depression stage, the loner learns to accept his fate like he has done so many times in the past.

Me: Man, that girl is so fuckin' pretty. I'd love to take her out on a date and pamper her with flowers, chocolates and stuff. Plus, I'm a Scorpio and she's a Cancer. Don't you think we would get along just great?

My friend: Uh, yeah, sure. Why don't you just go talk to her dude?

Me: Fuck that shit. Are you nuts? I'll just stalk her around the halls at school and creep her Facebook for years. I'll daydream about our whacky adventures together and stare at her whenever I get the chance. We have never even spoken before, but just by looking at her, I can tell that she is the one that I went to spend the rest of my life with. I love her so much.

My friend: You fucking whacko, you. You and your damned puppy love.

by TZG_Eleven June 23, 2011

puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.

Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say? 
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.

by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013

puppen

Kitty is to Kitten, as Puppy is to Puppen.

Look at these adorable puppens!

by consisting January 24, 2010

Dick puppet

Noun: When a man gets fucked in the asshole so hard that his dick is used as a puppet by the top, usually used in a threesomes to fuck a third male in the ass.

"Dude, Kev wore Dave as a dick puppet last night right into Tim's asshole."

by WeenMaster September 24, 2017

Grunge Puppy

A band formed outside of Philadelphia in late 2017. Grunge Puppy is known for their grungy songs (go figure), their stage presence live (throwing themselves on the floor, solos behind head) and their interesting personalities outside of music!

Person A: Have you heard of the band “Grunge Puppy”?
Person B: That’s a dumb name...
Person A: You obviously don’t listen to many bands do ya?

by *Definitely Not Grunge Puppy* September 8, 2018

knicker puppies

A young to middle aged woman who's bosom hangs too low for her age.

Wow, did you see those knicker puppies on Nadya Suleman? Dayam, that woman needs a good bra!

by valkyre10 November 23, 2009