Beating Off A Dead Horse

To continue trying to beat off a horse when it clearly isn't going to work anymore due to lack of blood flow.

Dude: I was out beating off a dead horse last night, but may hand started to cramp up, so i just went home instead.

by XxVRxX August 20, 2010

Monkey Branching

when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. she's basically branching off from her boyfriend and establishing backups.

yo dude I saw your girl at starbucks giving her number to some guy. I don't think she saw me. it looks like she's monkey branching, you should dump her.

by soulblk4000 December 2, 2010

Meat Beating

Jacking off, only a little harder than usual, to the point of hurting.

"Wanna go over to my place an do a little meat beating?"

by Mark2791 December 16, 2008

smokronized breathing

When you are standing next to somebody smoking and you breath out/in in perfect synchrony with them so that you minimize the amount of smoke you inhale therefore reducing second hand smoke

Dude, I have never smoked in my life and the thought of it makes me gag so when I was forced to stand next to Sammy, who smokes religiously, I had to use my smokronized breathing skills.

by bananaman321 April 6, 2011

beating the bishop

Masturbating.

How many times a day do you beat your bishop?

by chronicmasturbator March 27, 2003

Manual Breathing

Conscient, manual breathing (as opposed to unconscient, automatic breathing), where you directly control your inhaling and exhaling. Gets really annoying if it lasts.

"Manual breathing."
"OH NOES, I HATE YOU D:"

by H1R1 June 26, 2009

beating the record

'Beating the record' is a phrase referring to one attempting to 'beat' the number of times they can masturbate in 24 hours.

'Beating' is a pun, synonymous for masturbating.

My current record is nine.

Carl lied about beating the record yesterday.

by Harry Boulding January 12, 2009