Beached

adj. To be so unresponsive, that one becomes almost like a beached whale. Largely due to excessive intake of alcohol or marijuana. See also hammered and blitzed.

Man 1: Hey, what did you do last night?
Man 2: Man, I got messed up pretty bad. I was just laying on my buddies couch staring at the people walking by. I guess you could say i was beached.

by retrokid23 April 15, 2006

beached whale

When you take a dump while sitting on the toilet backwards so that your fecal matter ends up on the dry part of the toilet and not in the water.

Last time I used Gabe's bathroom I left a gnarly beached whale.

by wigwam69 September 9, 2006

beached whale syndrome

When someone particularly lazy and/or fat is assigned a task in which they have decided is too hard. They solve the problem by lying on the ground and whining/moaning resembling a beached whale. OR when one or more lazy fat people watch a more fit, less lazy person do work.

Example 1: The Freshman P.E. class got the beached whale Syndrome when they were told to run the mile.

Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome

by Little Boots May 26, 2009

Beached White Male

Due to the prolonged economic down-turn not even the traditionally "safe" demographic of white, middle aged, educated males has not remained safe from unemployment due to a dwindling middle-class. Once executive or professional, their employability now is as hopeless as a "beached whale's" survivability.

BMW, for short, it's an ironic turn of phrase. Also known as "Dead Suit Walking".

Look at that Beached White Male over there. He went from driving a BMW to being one!

by Tenacious Faulker May 18, 2011

Beached As

when you are stuck on a beach in New Zealand, and you are a whale talking to a Seagull. Also refers to a bucket of water and a hose to get wet asap, and planktooon. Mostly this ends up in fish and chups.
On a side note, Whales cant chew.

I'm beached as bro!

by Dson001 January 8, 2009

Beached

This happens when one is takeing a shit on the crapper and the turd ends up laying on the porcelin out of the water.

Man-Hey I was cleaning up after the party we had last night and someone beached in the down stairs toilet!

Friend-You dont mean?

Man-Yep the motherfucker was out of the water laying on the porcelin.

by troubledemon April 2, 2009

beached shark

Rancid pussy that smells like a wet cardboard box filled with expired bananas and sardines that has been sitting in the back of a Dominican grocery store since its last random inspection two years before.

Have you ever gone down on beached shark? No, you haven't. How can I tell? Your lower face is intact.

by Ramalishtic April 29, 2014