oatmeal

the cure for aids..

Derion: I've been itching lately. I think I have AIDS.
Mariah: Awww, would you like some oatmeal?

by Thatsexychicwithoatmeal January 7, 2013

Oatmealing

When you're getting head and blow your load and he/she keeps going but doesn't swallow. The jiz on your pelvis from this is known as oatmeal.

I'm cummed in her mouth and she kept going. After she stopped I looked down and there was jiz all over my pelvis. Oatmealing

by RealSans December 30, 2016

oatmeal

The most orgasmic food in the world

it also helps you prevent getting diabetes!

"i just ate some oatmeal."

"My mouth just had an orgasm, because of the delicious instant oatmeal."

"my mom started to freak out and though i was getting diabetes, so to make her stop, i started eating oatmeal. after a week of oatmeal everyday i finally understood that oatmeal was the most amazing thing in the world."

by Championhannahsaurusrex January 31, 2009

oatmeal

A codeword for sexual frustration.

I am so oatmeal right now.
I'm feeling oatmeal where's my porn
Are you oatmeal?

by xXSpiritKeeperXx September 7, 2013

oatmealing

when you're making out with a really hot bitch and you puke in her mouth

Maaaan...I was so sick yesterday that when me and that bitch hooked up I oatmealed in her mouth, she totally wanted me though.

by Allie Kazoo January 6, 2004

Oatmealed

Verb; when a plan goes horribly wrong. To be interpreted as an order of magnitude worse than "Backfired".

FunnyJunk: Hey TheOatmeal, I'm suing you for 20,000$ in damages.

TheOatmeal: Oh really now? How about "f*ck off" ?

FunnyJunk: lol! Dude... do you even lift?

TheOatmeal: Actually, I'm going to fund-raise 20,000$, give it to charity instead, crucify your website by turning most of your user-base against you, have my fans inadvertently cause a DDoS on your lawyer website. Oh, and why not raise 120,000$ for charity instead, while I'm at it.

FunnyJunk: F*ck... my plan totally Oatmealed :,-(

TheOatmeal: Friendly suggestion: drop the lawsuit. Or else.

by Fock Hoff December 15, 2012

Oatmeals

The color of old granny panties

Marge's oatmeals were showing the other day.

by Big John Redcorn June 7, 2016