Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Masturbating Muscle

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.

John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.

by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011

masturbetting

the act of betting a friend who can go the longest without masturbating (creaming the carrot)

So, my friend Jerry and I started masturbetting the other day after recalling all the wasted time we spent beating the meat stick.

by Gastrogary February 20, 2011

Masturbating Sally

Sexual gratification derived from watching a female masturbate with a lisp.

"Do you like it when I touch my puthy?"
"You're such a Masturbating Sally"

by Ron Raper January 30, 2017

fat masturbating cow

a girl that has an oval butt and is cow like

omg leah is such a fat masturbating cow.

by Matilda111 December 1, 2010

mental masturbating

When someone gets turned on with only the images the person thinks of in their head.

By the look of their face, I can tell they're currently mental masturbating.

by The Big Thicc August 14, 2019

masturbating

something that everyone has done or will do in the course of their lives, even if they keep denying it in front of their friends.

Scott: Joe, when you get home and watch that porn, and you are done masturbating, don't forget to wipe up the mess

Joe: I'm not gay, I don't do that

Scott: ummmmmmmm, sure you do, everyone does.

by My Name Is Hugh...Mungus July 12, 2009