AI Jesus

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.

Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."

by Hym Iam June 7, 2024

Jesus Christ

A men who has witnessed a lot incidents

He crossed right when a car was coming…
YOU: Jesus Christ!

by Professional Complainer May 21, 2023

God Jesus

Saying God Jesus backwards, sounds like Sausage Dog. suseJ doG.

God Jesus sure sounds like Sausage dog, when you say it backwards.

by liveforgiving May 17, 2021

Dirty Pirate Jesus

When a man is receiving oral, and just before he ejaculates, he pulls his member from her throat(or mouth) and nuts in her eye, similar to an Angry Pirate, but then shouts "May the Power of Christ Compel You!" And does the cross hand motions(head, genitals, left then right shoulders) and hits her with the V8 forehead palm-tap, causing her to stumble and fall backwards.

Janice thought she was about to swallow Tom's huge load, but instead found herself in a staredown with Dirty Pirate Jesus as Tom ran off maniacally giggling about "Exercising Hoe Demons"

by Captain Snackpack January 3, 2024

Six Flags Over Jesus

A really big church.

I go to church at Six Flags Over Jesus.

by SB018 March 16, 2024

Jesus spizzim

When you jizz with no control

Yo dude, I tried not to cum, but Jesus spizzim happened, what do I do?

by Kachowism August 10, 2024

Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...

Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."

by Hym Iam August 9, 2023