Abundance of Jesus 

Having so much Jesus that you cannot possibly cope without saying, looking at pictures of or masturbating to Jesus for more than 3 minutes at a time. You only listen to songs with Jesus in them and you force your religion, constantly I might add, on your friends and family who don't give two shits.

Ex. Patrick has an Abundance of Jesus. He is constantly badgering me to have an Abundance of Jesus, too.

Abundance of Jesus by cyclopropanations3 December 23, 2013

Went Knees to Jesus 

A phrase to describe sexual intercourse.

Guy 1: Did you hear about Doug?
Guy 2: Yeah I heard we went knees to Jesus.

Went Knees to Jesus by The Professor of Thugonomics September 4, 2016

vaginal jesus 

wp band; penis

I am listening to Vaginal Jesus.
I am going to tear your Vagina with my Jesus

vaginal jesus by christ99 September 8, 2015

Oh My Jesus 

To be used when something is amazing/shocking to emphasise how you feel. It is not the same as Oh My God which would be a bigger deal, and really, doesn't sound as good. Can also be shortened to OMJ.

OH MY JESUS! I just saw Sally banging Paula's ex!

OH MY JESUS! I think we ran over a squirrel.

Oh My Jesus by newkidondablock September 22, 2011

Creeping Jesus

It's someone who's a fawning person. But it's a bit rough, since when is Jesus associated with creepiness? Sure, he hung out with lepers - but that's not creepy. Social suicide maybe...

stalker

"Fuck off, Hugh, you're such a Creeping Jesus."

Creeping Jesus by Bree Rose January 2, 2009

purple jesus 

the vagina of a dark skinned woman that appears purple in colour

i bet that woman has a nice purple jesus

purple jesus by Mount Washington Expedition October 18, 2010

Bird Jesus

(n.) One of the members of the Holy Bird Trinity; son of Bird God

(adj.) related or pertaining to either Pelican Jesus or Katy Perry.

Note: Bird Jesus only exists within the religion of Bird Christianity. It, along with Bom and Scientology, make up the three Abrahamic bird religions.

Noun: Bird Jesus saved us from our sins.

Adjective: That song sounds so Bird Jesus.

Bird Jesus by Anonymous Clammy October 2, 2017