did Santana ever play with Jimi Hendrix?
i wish it, that would've made someone jizz theirself if they ever heard that song
i wish it, that would've made someone jizz theirself if they ever heard that song
by D money 9295 August 20, 2010
Get the Santana mug.In contrast to the cynical mathematical "contradiction" to Santa, there is indeed proof of his existance.
Several key points are overlooked by this callous, amateurish "study."
1. Flying reindeer: As is widely known (due to the excellent historical documentary "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," the flying reindeer are not a previously unknown species of reindeer, but were in fact given the power of flight due to eating magic acorns. As is conclusively proven in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (a no punches pulled look at life in Santa's village), this ability has bred true in subsequent generations of reindeer, obviously the magic acorns imprinted their power on a dominant gene sequence within the reindeer DNA strand.
2. Number of households: This figure overlooks two key facts. First of all, the first major schism in the Church split the Eastern Churches, centered in Byzantium, from the Western, which remained centered in Rome. This occurred prior to the Gregorian correction to the Julian calendar. The Eastern churches (currently called Orthodox Churches) do not recognize the Gregorian correction for liturgical events, and their Christmas is as a result several days after the Western Churches'. Santa gets two shots at delivering toys.
Secondly, the figure of 3.5 children per household is based on the gross demographic average, which includes households with no children at all. The number of children per household, when figured as an average for households with children, would therefore have to be adjusted upward. Also, the largest single Christian denomination is Roman Catholic, who, as we all know, breed like rabbits. If you don't believe me, ask my four brothers and two sisters, they'll back me up. Due to the predominance of Catholics within Christian households, the total number of households containing Christian children would have to be adjusted downward to reflect the overloading of Catholics beyond a standard deviation from the median.
Also, the assertion that each home would contain at least one good child would be reasonable enough if there were in fact an even 3.5 children per household. However, since the number of children per household is distributed integrally, there are a significant number (on the order of several million) of one child Christian households. Even though only children are notoriously spoiled and therefore disproportionately inclined towards being naughty, since it's the holidays we'll be generous and give them a fifty-fifty chance of being nice. This removes one half of the single child households from Santa's delivery schedule, which has already been reduced by the removal of the Orthodox households from the first delivery run.
3. Santa's delivery run (speed, payload, etc.): These all suffer from the dubious supposition that there is only one Santa Claus. The name "Santa" is obviously either Spanish or Italian, two ethnic groups which are both overwhelmingly Catholic. The last name Claus suggests a joint German/Italian background. His beginnings, battling the Burgermeister Meisterburger, suggest he grew up in Bavaria (also predominantly Catholic). The Kaiser style helmets of the Burgermeister's guards, coupled with the relative isolation of the village, suggest that his youth was at the very beginning of Prussian influence in Germany. Thus, Santa and Mrs. Claus have been together for well over one hundred years. If you think that after a hundred years of living at the North Pole with nights six months long that they remain childless, you either don't know Catholics or are unaware of the failure rate of the rhythm method. There have therefore been over five generations of Clauses, breeding like Catholics for over one hundred years. Since they are Catholic, their exponential population increase would obviously have a gain higher than the world population as a whole. There have therefore been more than enough new Santas to overcome the population increase of the world. So in fact, Santa has an easier time of it now than he did when he first started out.
Santa dead, indeed; some people will twist any statistic to "prove" their cynical theory.
Several key points are overlooked by this callous, amateurish "study."
1. Flying reindeer: As is widely known (due to the excellent historical documentary "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," the flying reindeer are not a previously unknown species of reindeer, but were in fact given the power of flight due to eating magic acorns. As is conclusively proven in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (a no punches pulled look at life in Santa's village), this ability has bred true in subsequent generations of reindeer, obviously the magic acorns imprinted their power on a dominant gene sequence within the reindeer DNA strand.
2. Number of households: This figure overlooks two key facts. First of all, the first major schism in the Church split the Eastern Churches, centered in Byzantium, from the Western, which remained centered in Rome. This occurred prior to the Gregorian correction to the Julian calendar. The Eastern churches (currently called Orthodox Churches) do not recognize the Gregorian correction for liturgical events, and their Christmas is as a result several days after the Western Churches'. Santa gets two shots at delivering toys.
Secondly, the figure of 3.5 children per household is based on the gross demographic average, which includes households with no children at all. The number of children per household, when figured as an average for households with children, would therefore have to be adjusted upward. Also, the largest single Christian denomination is Roman Catholic, who, as we all know, breed like rabbits. If you don't believe me, ask my four brothers and two sisters, they'll back me up. Due to the predominance of Catholics within Christian households, the total number of households containing Christian children would have to be adjusted downward to reflect the overloading of Catholics beyond a standard deviation from the median.
Also, the assertion that each home would contain at least one good child would be reasonable enough if there were in fact an even 3.5 children per household. However, since the number of children per household is distributed integrally, there are a significant number (on the order of several million) of one child Christian households. Even though only children are notoriously spoiled and therefore disproportionately inclined towards being naughty, since it's the holidays we'll be generous and give them a fifty-fifty chance of being nice. This removes one half of the single child households from Santa's delivery schedule, which has already been reduced by the removal of the Orthodox households from the first delivery run.
3. Santa's delivery run (speed, payload, etc.): These all suffer from the dubious supposition that there is only one Santa Claus. The name "Santa" is obviously either Spanish or Italian, two ethnic groups which are both overwhelmingly Catholic. The last name Claus suggests a joint German/Italian background. His beginnings, battling the Burgermeister Meisterburger, suggest he grew up in Bavaria (also predominantly Catholic). The Kaiser style helmets of the Burgermeister's guards, coupled with the relative isolation of the village, suggest that his youth was at the very beginning of Prussian influence in Germany. Thus, Santa and Mrs. Claus have been together for well over one hundred years. If you think that after a hundred years of living at the North Pole with nights six months long that they remain childless, you either don't know Catholics or are unaware of the failure rate of the rhythm method. There have therefore been over five generations of Clauses, breeding like Catholics for over one hundred years. Since they are Catholic, their exponential population increase would obviously have a gain higher than the world population as a whole. There have therefore been more than enough new Santas to overcome the population increase of the world. So in fact, Santa has an easier time of it now than he did when he first started out.
Santa dead, indeed; some people will twist any statistic to "prove" their cynical theory.
Santa does exist
by Someone December 21, 2003
Get the Santa mug.Related Words
slant
• slanted
• Slanty
• Slant-eyes
• slanter
• slanty eye
• Slant rhyme
• slante
• slantedclam
• Slanther
A small town hidden from mapview by its larger counterparts, San Jose and San Fransisco, that was once known for having very little Gang activiy and low crime rates. Due to recent development (see any article on the SF Forty-Niners) the city has slowly grown more violent, constantly being littered and tagged by various gangs now flocking to the area.
Santa Clara also houses California's Great America - a constant nuisance for surrounding neighborhoods, as they crank the speakers up higher every year. What little name the city has is usually followed up with some ridiculous announcement of how many more pot clubs have sprung up or how many people have died from house fires. This often hides the more refined parts of Santa Clara, which often includes small, one or two-day competitions for musicians and artists who get featured in either the Triton Museum of Art (artists) or in some other city (commonly schoolkids who have taken up Orchestra or Band.) Which sucks, since it robs reputation away from the best place in the Bay.
Santa Clara also houses California's Great America - a constant nuisance for surrounding neighborhoods, as they crank the speakers up higher every year. What little name the city has is usually followed up with some ridiculous announcement of how many more pot clubs have sprung up or how many people have died from house fires. This often hides the more refined parts of Santa Clara, which often includes small, one or two-day competitions for musicians and artists who get featured in either the Triton Museum of Art (artists) or in some other city (commonly schoolkids who have taken up Orchestra or Band.) Which sucks, since it robs reputation away from the best place in the Bay.
Person 1: Hey man did you hear about San Jose State's music students winning the state competition?
Person 2: You idiot, they were an Ensemble from Santa Clara.
or:
Person 1: Dude, I didn't know Santa Clara had such great Artists!
Person 2: Yeah, nobody knows because the bigger cities like to take them away to their art schools.
Person 2: You idiot, they were an Ensemble from Santa Clara.
or:
Person 1: Dude, I didn't know Santa Clara had such great Artists!
Person 2: Yeah, nobody knows because the bigger cities like to take them away to their art schools.
by TaiomiFox July 11, 2011
Get the Santa Clara mug.When one person sits on a another persons lap while on the toilet and defecates through there legs and tells them what they want for Christmas.
I heard about these scatt videos that feature soft serve, Hot plates, and dirty Santa Clause Seat Warmers...
by Hollywood B! February 1, 2010
Get the Dirty Santa Clause Seat Warmer mug.Example 1)
joe: yo look at that Nigga Jigga Hick Jew Morman Muslim Gook Catholic Indian Nazi Spic Slanty-Eyed Foghat Gay Dyke Homo "Eh?"sayer Fatass Wigger Cauck Albino Assclown!
jim: shut up you Nigga Jigga Hick Jew Morman Muslim Gook Catholic Indian Nazi Spic Slanty-Eyed Foghat Gay Dyke Homo "Eh?"sayer Fatass Wigger Cauck Albino Assclown
Example 2) proof that anyone can make fun of anyone and unless the world stops hating we are all doomed
joe: yo look at that Nigga Jigga Hick Jew Morman Muslim Gook Catholic Indian Nazi Spic Slanty-Eyed Foghat Gay Dyke Homo "Eh?"sayer Fatass Wigger Cauck Albino Assclown!
jim: shut up you Nigga Jigga Hick Jew Morman Muslim Gook Catholic Indian Nazi Spic Slanty-Eyed Foghat Gay Dyke Homo "Eh?"sayer Fatass Wigger Cauck Albino Assclown
Example 2) proof that anyone can make fun of anyone and unless the world stops hating we are all doomed
by TheWiseMan March 2, 2005
Get the Nigga Jigga Hick Jew Morman Muslim Gook Catholic Indian Nazi Spic Slanty-Eyed Foghat Gay Dyke Homo "Eh?"sayer Fatass Wigger Cauck Albino Assclown mug.The school that is know for artquest, and not for sports. Theres tons of bi ppl, all of them being girls. We have hella posers. All the preps wear too much fucking orange and black, and we suck at football. Honestly why do we even try. Artquest is the only good thing about the school and like the outside and location.
Kendall: "I'm such an artquet kid"
Meredith: "shut up. Your not i am"
Maggie: "I love mexicans."
Ben: "Wanna hear me play my accordian?"
Random ppl: Those are artquest ppl right there. Weirdos.
Random person 2: Dude their not even wearing orange and black and its friday!!!
Bella and Issy: Shut up. That's a horrible color combantion. Retards...
Prep: I love Santa Rosa High...
Meredith: "shut up. Your not i am"
Maggie: "I love mexicans."
Ben: "Wanna hear me play my accordian?"
Random ppl: Those are artquest ppl right there. Weirdos.
Random person 2: Dude their not even wearing orange and black and its friday!!!
Bella and Issy: Shut up. That's a horrible color combantion. Retards...
Prep: I love Santa Rosa High...
by Izze November 6, 2007
Get the santa rosa high mug."He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice...
"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake...
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
To town."
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."
"Who 'comes' around on a special night?
Santa 'comes' around on a special night...
Who very soon will 'come' our way?
Santa very soon will 'come' our way..."
"Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Right down Santa Claus Lane!...
Hang your stockings...
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight...
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
What a beautiful sight.
Jump in bed, cover up your head,
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight."
who's naughty or nice...
"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake...
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
To town."
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."
"Who 'comes' around on a special night?
Santa 'comes' around on a special night...
Who very soon will 'come' our way?
Santa very soon will 'come' our way..."
"Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Right down Santa Claus Lane!...
Hang your stockings...
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight...
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
What a beautiful sight.
Jump in bed, cover up your head,
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight."
by Sid Barrett October 2, 2007
Get the Santa mug.