clatus

A flatus originating from the clit/cunt area. Sometimes referred to as a kwief.

Oh dear, are you passing clatus again?

by helster01 October 8, 2005

Santa Claus

original name: Zänte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)

A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.

Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.

All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.

So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...

by Winter Wonder January 27, 2009

santa clause

when you shit in a sock and slap someone in the face with it.

Gent 1:Aye chap, why you always have to wail on me. I'd much rather prefer a santa clause.
Gent 2:Righto

by shib January 25, 2005

Yenta Claus

Origin in Jewish folklore, is a female Yiddishkeit elf who visits children during the gift giving period of time around the Chanukah/ Hanukkah and Christmas Holidays. A term for a feminine secular Jewish Santa Claus-like character used to introduce humor and as an attempt to include all children in seasonal festivities. An American Jewish magical gift giving character. See Yenta for origins of the name in Yiddish and in contemporary culture.

"You'd better not kvetch, or eat chozzerai, You'd better not greps, I'm telling you why... Yenta Claus in coming to town!" Yenta Claus, A Hanukkah Carol, Author unknown

by ToyTimeJoy September 16, 2008

santa clausification

To paint a glowing and praiseworthy picture of a somewhat well know, but assumed to be great and wholesome individual. Martin Luther King, Jr. has be 'santa clausified' by the white American public.

The santa clausification of Santa Claus will end when the frozen human heads are found in his basement or the animal porn collection is unearthed.

by Ian (St.) R. April 11, 2008

jimmy clausen

best ND QB since Ron Pawlus.
Also see: 1.'wow, I bruise easy when a 300lb Michigan lineman plants me like a flower bulb', 2.'football sure is fast when you are not playing in the smallest division against weak opponents', 3. 'Please Charlie, that hurts, could I put my pants back on?'

"Hey, is that Ron Pawlus? oh, never mind it's just Rick Mirer or is that Jimmy Clausen. They all eventually look the same"

by M. LoVecchio November 8, 2008

claustrophobic smoker

A person who greatly dislikes smoking cigarettes in closed in areas.

i cant smoke in here, i am to much of a claustrophobic smoker

by BigLutz January 22, 2010