phantom piss

Thinking you need to take a piss, only to find you don't when stood in front of the pan.

Thats the fourth phantom piss this morning. Wish I could squeeze out a piss and be done.

by nameisalwaystaken November 9, 2006

phantom jam

A traffic jam that seems to happen for absolutely no reason. No roadworks, no traffic lights, no car crashes, no nothing. Just a great big traffic jam.

The common driver is often left not only frustrated, but also confused, after coming out of a phantom jam.

by Atomik Spongeface June 16, 2008

Phantom Jobber

Someone who leaves the toilet in a mess. Normally by leaving sliding faece marks in the bowl. Occasionally they flush, sometimes they do not.

"You been to the shitter recently? The phantom jobber is back again, f**king skids everywhere"

by dirtdawg January 5, 2009

phantom shit bandit

A person with an ass so big they would need mirrors to back into the stall visits a public/office restroom and defecates the messiest sloppiest nutty dump all over seat and floor. They always manage to slip away without be noticed, despite HOW big they are.

MY god the phantom shit bandit strikes again. My good it is all over the walls too.

by dontbah8tr February 27, 2009

Phantom Sneeze

The sensation of a sneeze that won't occur naturally.

I kept having to phantom sneeze in front of Jane last night and now she thinks I have terrets.

by Scooter118 March 11, 2009

Phantom Roommate

Having a roommate or person that lives with you that you rarely see or hear from. Most common in colleges with students that live near campus but are required to live in dorms.

"Why is this half of your room empty?"

"Oh, I have a phantom roommate. that supposed to be his half"

by hitting the wall March 14, 2010

Phantom Construction

When unnecessary cones, barrels, and lane shifts screw up your morning commute but there isn't a construction worker in sight. A/K/A/ government efficiency at its best.

I was half an hour late due to some phantom construction. Turns out, no one has worked on site in days.

by UDANONYMOUS August 16, 2010