Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.

My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!

by ahirebet July 23, 2024

Jesus Velazquez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

.

Zero: Jesus Velazquez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

by InterpersonalCommunication February 16, 2025

Black Jesus

Black Jesus is a nickname given to highly regarded as the greatest basketball player of all time Micheal Jordan

Bro we dont shit talk to Black Jesus cause if we do he will give us 60

by FadedIsCool January 28, 2023

Raccoon Jesus

Raccoon Jesus is a nickname for current Los Angeles Kings captain Anze Kopitar. The name is probably based off of Anze Kopitar’s eyebags.

You see that goal Raccoon Jesus just pulled off?

Hell yeah! That was sweet!

by NHLStromeBros December 18, 2023

Lutheran Jesus

It’s when you’re catholic friend with religious trauma finds random moments of blessings in everyday tasks.

Lutheran Jesus said I can’t come in the water right now. I don’t got to do anything!

by LandoFanF1 August 3, 2024