sweet cactus chicken jesus 

1.(n) when a large cactus has grown in such a way that a chicken appears to be on top, with it's 'wings' spread as though he were crucified.


2.(excl) a expression of surprise, usually positive. can be suffixed with 'christ on a bike', for added impact/effect.

1. sorrel: 'good lord, look at that cactus!'
vinnie: 'that's a sweet cactus chicken jesus!'


2. matt: 'hey guys, we still have some beers left!'
vinnie: 'sweet cactus chicken jesus (christ on a bike)!'

sweet cactus chicken jesus by true_pictsie February 13, 2009

Black Jesus 

This is the real Jesus. Not to be confused with Mr. Jesus, YOUR JESUS, or Mickey Mouse Bullshit Jesus. This is the Jesus that you should thank for taking care of mediocre things in your daily life!

Shawn: So what is the deal, are we friends or not?

G-Sylce: I swear to Black Jesus is you pull this shit again, I'm going to cut you with my scissors... DRAMA

Black Jesus by SHenderson January 21, 2010

Jewish Jesus

The Jesus that beats all other mother fucking jesus's

*Black Jesus = ok
*Christian Jesus = LOSER
*Jewish Jesus = Amazing!
*Asian Jesus = Buddha

Jewish Jesus by Devoteorthedoxgreekcatholic April 4, 2010

come to jesus 

Originally an emotional experience that is life changing, it has evolved to mean a serious argument, one that better result in a change of action or else.

My husband and I are going to have a "come to jesus" over this remodeling job.
or
I'm going to have a "come to jesus" with that kid about his drinking and partying.

come to jesus by Sak July 29, 2004

BLACK JESUS 

An exclamation used when blankets are pulled over the head and nothing is visible.

* pulls sheets over head, screams in a muffled voice*

"BLACK JESUS...!"

BLACK JESUS by BarelyAHuman May 24, 2015

The Blonde Jesus 

The name says it all.

-He turns water into purple or red drank.

-His beard is better than any you've ever seen
and that includes the beard of Chuck Norris.

-He has an amazing Ban Hammer of Thor.

-He is merciless.

The Blonde Jesus is the sex. Period.

The Blonde Jesus by Anonymous0fLegion September 16, 2010

oh lawd jesus 

Black women dialogue for; "Oh how interestingly spontaneous that this particular event occurred at this paradime."

Shaniquela: "Oh Mama Jackson, me and Jamar O'Ryan are having a baby."

Mama Jackson: "Oh lawd Jesus!"

oh lawd jesus by Le_Willis May 21, 2014