Costa Wanker

A young wanna be hipster who always goes to the Costa Coffee machines at petrol stations.

' Look at that Costa Wanker waiting for his shit latte'

Or

'I can't get a coffee because the que is full of Costa wankers'

by dog tits July 5, 2016

Blackberry Wanker

Someone that feels the need to be on their Blackberry every second of the day therefore making them oblivious to real life situations.

Guy 1: 'That dude never puts his Blackberry down!!'
Guy 2: 'I know, what a Blackberry Wanker'

by ohwiseone2011 April 19, 2011

bearded wanker

When a bloke is more obsessed with his beard than fucking everything

I love playing with my beard it proper turns me on. I think I'm a bearded wanker

by Bearded wanker July 27, 2016

Word Wanker

Someone proficient in manipulating language to express complex thoughts in a simple way

"Wow Laura managed to fit such a complex thought into only ONE tweet?! I'd need a whole thread! She's such a word wanker."

by laura898 November 26, 2020

Wanker-in-chief

The supreme leader of a group of wankers.

Usually used to refer to a useless politician.

"I hereby declare you, Wanker-in-chief"

by Titan90 September 1, 2019

Travel Wanker

Travel Wanker (Noun): One who travels in Asia or South America in hopes of "finding themselves". Wears genie pants, neglects basic hygiene, doesn't wear shoes and constantly tells you about how relinquishing their material possessions pushed them to a higher spiritual plain.

"Look at the top-knot on that travel wanker."
"What was the hostel like? Couldn't handle it, full of travel wankers."

by IrishNBA September 30, 2018

wanker's tan

Pasty complexion sported by young men who spend far too much time alone in the bedroom with the curtains pulled shut.

'I've just got grand theft auto san andreas for christmas, so i'll be spending the next few months working on my wanker's tan.'

by Chuckle Mother May 13, 2005