dusty shelf

1. An elderly woman's vagina, dusty after years of neglect

2. Any vagina that hasn't been used in a long time

That chick never gives it up, she probly got a dusty shelf.

by johnny bunz June 11, 2006

shelf

to put something in your ass

When he saw the polices steve decided to shelf his weed

by bobbie July 22, 2003

shoefie

A selfie of your shoes

" did you see her shoefie on Instagram of her Chanel pumps?"

by Coco90 May 4, 2014

elf on the shelf

A very creepy tradition perpetrated by adults around children of young ages. The legend goes that the elf on the shelf is hidden and watches the children and then reports back to Santa with his findings. In a nutshell, this is Santa's NSA, with less phone taps. Although this may seem a jocular activity to keep your offspring in line, it actually is a pervy way to watch over your kids, using the threat of not receiving gifts during the holiday season. The adult version of this practice is not-so-subtly named whore in a drawer

Dad 1: Hey Rick did you hide the elf on the shelf for little bobby and Susie this year?
Dad 2: Hell yeah I did, Arty. I put it in the bathroom so my kids will shit bricks.

by canned_laughs August 18, 2016

off-the-shelf

readily available form retail sources

No more off-the-shelf water filters for me.

by The Return of Light Joker July 9, 2010

Mid-shelf

A magazine that isn't pornographic enough to be top-shelf, but is still sold more or less with the single purpose of providing material for masturbation. Often contain women who believe themselves to be famous for something other than their breasts.

My girlfriend doesn't like me buying porn, so I just get the mid-shelf magazines and pretend it's for the gadget reviews.

Since Gemma Atkinson left Hollyoaks, her entire career has been posing for mid-shelf magazines.

by Bobby Tables September 9, 2009

shofstall

A douch bag otherwise known as a pussy cleaner

She stuck the shofstall and cleaned her pussy

by Joey Jackson July 9, 2007