helpdesk

A place where tortured people speak to incompetent fools, swearing at them after pressing the "Mute" button.

Type "SMTP" like "Sam Michael Tom Peter"

SMPT?

by Durr July 31, 2003

Learned Helplessness

A disease for which the main symptom is never learning how to do simple tasks for yourself. Always asking others to do things for you--especially in the workplace. A carrier of the disease is usually fully dependent on coworkers and the employees below them.

"Hey Susie, I'm going to need you to put postage on this for me. I just never learned how to use the postage machine...I have learned helplessness"

"I've had learned helplessness ever since I got promoted to CEO. Can you copy this double-sided for me? I just can't bring myself to figure it out."

by Angry Rant June 9, 2009

hangover helper

The cure to the common hangover, and a monster of a breakfast sandwich. Comprised of bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, and cheese heeped onto an enormous hard roll. Also a good source of the vitamin cholesterol.

Got a hangover? Well head on down to your local deli and ask for new Hangover Helper and watch your headache vanish. (Side effects include, but are not limited to: upset stomache, dhiarria, gutteral bulge, and heart attacks)

by captain phoenix May 10, 2006

Santa's little helper

cocaine; Santa is certainly familiar with snow if he can run around to all those houses in one night.

I couldn't feel my face after all that Santa's little helper. I could touch it, but couldn't feel it.

by jburke524 September 19, 2011

helpdesk

A place where teams of people gloss over the glaring inadequacies (mis-spelt) of the company they work for and get paid for it.

I wish to sell my bottom! - what better place than on the helpdesk. Fuck my corporate ass.

by dave mason December 17, 2003

i accidentally ended up on urban dictionary please help me

It's what people type into urban dictionary when they have nothing else to do and act like helpless little shits.

"I accidentally ended up on urban dictionary please help me," Typed me in 6th grade when I was supposed to work on a grammar book.

by Why do I exist March 13, 2018

Can I help you find something?

A phrase copyrighted by Target Corp.
Team members have to ask everyone this.

TM: Can I help you find something?
Guest: Nah, I am good thanks.

by embem February 8, 2009