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anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
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Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
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Related Words

Crumple

A homosexual who believes that English language is under attack by the use of ebonics
My book was crumpled by the edit department
by holmes on homes September 8, 2005
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Crumpty

Adjective originating from the word "crumpet" - Bland and dry while still pretentious thinking you are better than everyone else.
Person 1: Personally I just think Shrek 2 was mediocre, I used to like it but once I grew up I sort of knew better.

Person 2: Nobody asked you crumpty bitch
by Ling on Tour August 5, 2023
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crumtrulelescent

My goodness honey you look crumtrulelescent
by BRRO JABA May 17, 2010
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Crumpwich

A sandwich made entirely of crumpets, with 2 crumpets acting as bread and a crumpet filling consisting of another crumpet. To be enjoyed with a cup of tea and a sit down.
Hey ryan, you fancy a crumpwich?
by Catmeat April 24, 2011
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Crumpfitting

Comforting someone with your crumpet. AKA - Vagina
When someone is sad and feeling blue, a fanny will snuggle up next to you and crumpfit you - someone is crumpfitting you at that moment.

Man gets home from work, says to wife "oh Ive had a hard day today".
Wife says "oh darling - you know what you need? "Crumpfitting".

Wife then proceeds to comfort her man by cuddling him with her vagina.
by El3tric November 27, 2012
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