carpet patrol

Crackheads who search the floor for dropped crack rocks.

"Hey, James, you catch that DJ's set?"

"Yeah, Brown -- I had my groove on 'till I tripped over the damn carpet patrol."

by Microfile November 17, 2004

carpet banger

noun

1. A man who does well with women.
2. Any sexually active man, especially one who, "rides it hard."
3. A man who will will sleep with anyone.

If that carpet banger so much as talks to my girlfriend, I'm knockin' him out!

by Antenna Wilde February 14, 2008

budgie under the carpet

Used to describe the bulge of a mans crotch when penis is erect. See: trouser tent

Origin comes from the old joke of laying new carpet and then finding the budgie missing and a lump under the carpet.

Hey look! Neville's got a budgie under the carpet.

by Elijah S April 14, 2004

Carpe Omnious

"seize it all" or " seize all"- latin

hard candy ellen page says "Carpe Omnious" when she's giving a toast

by jessica bones April 29, 2008

Captain of the Carpet Ship

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.

Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

carpe snooze'em

To seize the snooze.

The opposite of carpe diem which is Latin for "seize the day." This means to go back to sleep.

When waking up early in the morning, a person must decide whether to carpe diem or carpe snooze'em. Usually a internal (sometimes external) debate of the mind occurs, "Carpe diem....carpe snooze'em....carpe diem....carpe snooze'em. Carpe snooze'em." Sadly, the latter usually wins out if the debate ever occurs.

by TheNcredibleEgg November 7, 2008

carpet sweeping

Manually, with the digits of the hand, or orally pleasuring a woman who is totally hairy down in the nether regions.

Sorry I missed your call, I was carpet sweeping my girl's rug.

by BigM_MysteryMann September 9, 2011