Today

Its 2 days before the day after tomorrow.

"I should probably feed the kids in my basement today"

by OgreTheSober January 23, 2021

today's

When you take a woman you impregnated the night before, take her fetus and show it today’s new light by ripping her fetus out of her yeast filled stomach and thrusting it into the air and saying simba everything the light touches is our kingdom before promptly throwing it into the trash can.

Jim did today's with Christina.

by Changa of Chimmies October 09, 2019

mad today, glad tomorrow

Old colloquial southern saying "Mad today, glad tomorow", means just what it says for instance if a neighbor, friend, family member with whom you are on decently close terms may come to misunderstanding over a slight or mishap perceived by one or the other and suffer hurt or injurious feelings to their pride, ego, etc. He/she would or will soon get over that and move on to resume their relationship (with hopefully, a better understanding of each other) again...therefore, mad today, glad tomorow! Not mad at nobody! Just sayin', sometimes a thing, matter/issue has to be put in check by making someone think about their actions that may have brought on the discord. Be Happy, Worry!

Miss Evie expressed her regret emotionally and out loud to the group of ladies who had forgotten to bring the cold salads for the spring tea buffet to which her sister Margaret who headed the sunshine committee, replied...mad today, glad tomorrow!

by Sassafras Seraphim September 01, 2020

Not today heifer

When you feel pulled into other people's drama, you might think this.

Not today heifer, not my pasture, not my problem.

by Westsideisbestside August 04, 2022

I woke up today

A term mostly used by some people on BandLab named projekt5 and Grøøt, which has a lot of meanings, most notably meaning that a person woke up or that something is amazing. Derived from Grøøt's own song "Daily Routine"

"I woke up today
And I knew it was gonna be a great day"
- Grøøt, 2024

by ran2010 January 02, 2025

I woke up today

1. An adjective describing something of insurmountable greatness/perfection.

2. A reference to the Pop song Daily Routine by Grøøt, released August 14th, 2024.

This song is so I woke up today, dude!

Guys, I woke up todayyyyyy and I knew it was gonna be a great day!

by grootunknown January 02, 2025

not today you turd

A saying you say to someone you really really hate.

"Not today you turd, lol."

by That_one_weabo April 09, 2018