Telstra 

The worst connection ever made, will probably fail and support staff can't get their heads out of their own asses let alone speak basic English.

Likened to a Pile of Horseshit Telstra makes you pay them to take a hot steaming shit on your face.

"Mateee these cunts can't provide me anything and I'm paying a premium."

"Well switch to something like TPG or Optus cunt, these drongos couldn't build a lego set, let alone put up a good fucking service"

"Telstra, taking your money, for nothing in return" *TELSTRA JINGLE*

Telstra by Bilko367 February 15, 2020

Telstra 

Telstra, synonymous with "fucking Telstra",and "it's those fuckwits again at Telstra", in addition to "outsourced their give a fuck to a foreign call centre, who don't give a fuck even if they could understand what you were saying"
Statistifally Telstra have contributed to over 75% of mass murderings in Australia; there is a strong correlation with buying a guy and wanting to harm people with it after dealing with Telstra.

Awww what's up mate? ... "Fucking Telstra, those fucking cunts have over charged me again for my mobile/the internet is down again/ they haven't called me back all week to sort out this fucking internet.

If you are short of conversation and want to feel part of the group, just casually bring up Telstra imna conversation. People will immediately a violent reaction and start spitting as they speak thinking about the last time they had to deal with the cunts at Telstra.

Those fucking cunts... What's up mate, awww those cunts at fucking Telstra, my fucking phone is down again.
Just got off the phone with their call centre, fucking useless cunts they are...
Yeah fuck Telstra man, they are fucking cocksucking fucking cunts

Telstra by Whatthefuxk August 1, 2018

Telstra 

like all phone companies they have terrible in store and online service

Greg walking to Telstra: oh yes they have a hospital for phones I am pleased and am hoping its free to fix my phone.
Greg in Telstra : excuse me my phone has a weird beeping sound on it.
staff: psssh muthafucka that's because you have a virus.
Greg: what did you call me?
staff: your a man slut with a old ball bag.
Greg: FUCK! (smashes the phone)

Telstra by weedhead11111111111111111 May 9, 2018

Telstra 

Company that was percieved by geeks to make them cool if they voiced their slanderous opinions about it - about 3 years ago. It's about as impressive as Microsoft-bashing now.

Hey, I hate Telstra, am I cool yet?

(no, you're just a wanker.)

Telstra by Chris December 21, 2004

Telstra 

A national disgrace. It could not be worse if the employed monkeys only. This is a company that never gets even the simplest task right and as the majority owner, the Australian Federal Government are squarely to blame.

One day there will be a class action against Telstra for br4each of contract and fraud.

Telstra sucks

Telstra by Hate Govt April 28, 2021

Telstra monkeys 

Derrogatory:
They are monkies. They work for telstra.
Working on the same princaple as Doglas Adams infinate number of monkies.

What a bunch of telstra monkies!

Telstra monkeys by louis October 17, 2001

Telstra Tightarse 

The name given to the condition of only texting friends on telstra, one you have telstra 1c text.

Bloke 1:I was going to text Ricko the other day, but he is on optus.
Bloke 2: Your such a telstra Tightarse

Telstra Tightarse by Stueynator May 21, 2009