kleptokiwi

flightless bird indigenous to New Zealand with very sticky feet, greasy feathers, and very small brain

Never leave property unguarded when a kleptokiwi is about.

by Pneuguy May 13, 2011

kleptocracy

"The Governance of Thieves" - Technical term, mixed from the psychological term "cleptomania" or "kleptomania" - the urge to steal, and the greek sillable "cratia" - the rule of, as in "democracy".
Often applied to the rulers of Subsaharan African states.

The problem of most African countries is not lack of food, but those kleptocrats in power.

by sam195 August 27, 2005

offense kleptomaniac

Someone who, when they find an offense that isn't nailed down, will take it, even if they have no connection at all to the person or group that would supposedly be offended by the "offense" in question. This malady is often found in those practicing political correctness, though not exclusive to them.

"What's he complaining about? He's not even affected, it has nothing to do with him whatsoever."

"Oh, he's an offense kleptomaniac."

by nohbody January 1, 2009

kleptocracy

A corrupt governmental body made up of thieves, also sullied by nepotism and cronyism, or in other words a synonym for government itself.

History shows that to be governed is to live under a kleptocracy.

by dh8407 June 21, 2017

post-communist kleptocracy

That delightful period after a communist country falls during which everything becomes surprisingly stealable. A system of government that has a heavy focus on criminality and survival-of-the-fittest. What happens when commies turn on each other.

Russia after the Soviet Union became a post-communist kleptocracy.

by Ahod February 22, 2009

kleptomaniac

a muthafucka that just can't seem to keep their hands of of other people's shyt. For example, a person who goes into Wal*Mart and just has the urgency to open a pack of permanent markers just to steal the red and green ones, or the crazy ass classmate that walks by and blatantly takes your brand spankin' new lead pencil off of your desk.

This kleptomaniac bastard just walked by and took my damn napkin...

by 20Breezy09 May 8, 2009

kleptointoxica

Noun

A condition in which a person accidentally steals the belongings of others whilst under the influence of alcohol. Often the patient will, upon leaving the licensed establishment, mistake the personal belongings of others as their own.

I suffer from this debilitating illness. It has caused me to steal a friend's glasses, a stranger's coat and numerous packs of tobacco. It has affected my relationships, my social life (am on pub watch - photo above the bar with warning) and am in therapy.

Kleptointoxica is an epidemic in the South and East of England, resulting in social media trolling of the patient and the rising number of sufferers going into rehab.

by CodeGreen76 February 12, 2019