Colostomizer

Another word for a sex offender. The difference between a colostomizer and a sex offender, is that sex offenders normally target young children. A colostomizer targets older women in the 50-60 year old range. A colostomizer, just like a sex offender could do, may prefer men over women, and may engage in gay sex with the victim(s). A Colostomizer is very hard to find, and almost impossible to catch. After all, you don't find a colostomizer, a colostomizer finds you. Tactics include "The Damsel in the Distress", "This isn't where I parked my car", and the infamous "The Viagra Manuever." A colostomizer usually is pale, prefers a cold environment, and is a raving homosexual.

Also known as a douche bag.

Colostomizer: Hey there young lady! Here, let me escort you across the street.
Grandma: What a gentleman!
Colostomizer: The city is gettin' dangerous, let me escort you back to your home.
Grandma: Well, I suppose there's no harm in that.
(Unknown event(s) occur)
*Gay sex follows with Grandpa*

by FEDER4TION August 29, 2006

colostrophe

Noun: The catastrophic failure of a colostomy bag

Informal: An embarrassing event or occurrence

"I woke up after the stag next to my sister and wearing her thong. What a colostrophe!"

by Michael A A February 7, 2008

colostomy bag

Someone who is consistently full of shit, ie, a liar.

That Jacko is such a colostomy bag, only one nosejob? Riiiight!

by RachelS December 2, 2003

colostomybag

A colossal douchebag; Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk, asshole, and blown pasting the upper echelons of douchebag status.

Javier's unabated shenanigans at our tea party last night puts him on a whole new level of douchebaggery, one which warrants an upgrade to colostomybag status!

by scoopapoopa August 13, 2011

Coldstone Depression

The immense amount of regret and shame felt after eating icecream from Coldstone Creamery.

David: "Mer, I feel so horrible after eating that chocolate dipped waffle bowl full of ice cream..."
Meredith: "Yeah babe, that's called Coldstone Depression...I feel it too."

by hi.immeredith August 6, 2011

colostomy bag fetish

The act of sticking your dick in the exposed intestine typically covered by the colostomy bag.

Daniel can get extra deep into Marco's colon. He has a colostomy bag fetish.

by ClarenceB0ddicker November 27, 2013

colostolingus

The act of providing/deriving pleasure from oral tongue to surgical ostomy contact.

Oh yeah, baby! You know I be all closed up down there; how about some colostolingus to get things started, you never know where we might end up.

by YAWA September 14, 2022