Asturbate

To masturbate in your head without ever touching yourself.

Friend-do you masturbate?
You-Nah man, I asturbate because it's a sin to touch yourself.
Friend- Wow, you're a loser

by Mt_2013 April 10, 2015

assburster

Based on Alien franchise.
A log of shit so large and painful, you can swear it feels like a chestburster. Except it bursts out of your ass, hence the name.
Usually happens when you're constipated.

A: Vacate the toilet already man, it's been half an hour already!
B: I've got a chestburster coming out of my ass!
A: LOL, an assburster. Good luck, bro.

by Nappko February 21, 2017

Assturbate

To use a butt to masturbate one's penis.

I never care about the face or the body. I just grab the hips and use that ass to assturbate my cock.

by Fkrtist September 4, 2013

Assturbating

Playing with your own bunghole strictly for pleasure and personal gain.

Johnny was in the bathroom for hours on end , assturbating until the gentle sunrise caressed the horizon.

by stxnthamix October 11, 2015

assterbate

anal masterbation

That skank ho was assterbating with her butt plug

by fizgig April 7, 2003

assturbation-fueled car

The homosexual counterpart of the masturbation-fueled car. It is a car that has been painted in all sorts of gay pride colors, symbols, and slogans, and is driven by a gay man or lesbian in hopes that he/she will get as many gay lovers as desired.

Why just look at that faggot asshat in the assturbation-fueled car over there!

by Mark H July 15, 2004

assturbating

Masturbating by fingering your anus.

Jack: Dude, I so got laid last night!

Jim: What happened?

Jack: Well, I was at a party, and I walked into a room and I caught Lisa assturbating. So I asked her if I could join and we totally got it on!

by Vinchenzonaughti March 3, 2008