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land shark

The result of being caught on the toilet, taking a shit, when you realize their is no toilet paper. So you leave your seat with your underwear half mast and race to the other bathroom in the house to wipe your ass - dropping small, sticky pieces of shit, that were attached to your cornhole, behind you all over the house - or land sharks.
I was dropping a grogan when the JWs came and knocked on my door. I thought it was the mail guy so I hurried up to wipe, but discovered I was all out of the good stuff. So I made a mad dash to the other bathroom and totally left a land shark in the front hallway.
by smittan September 7, 2011
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land shark

This is a term that is used when referencing the act of having sex with a woman while she's on her period. Sharks attack women who are menstruating in the ocean, and since you are having sex with a woman's bleeding vagina on the land, it is called 'land sharking'. It can also be called a 'shark attack' and is often accompanied by the Jaws theme song and a hand smacking motion immitating the clamping of sharks' jaws.

This should only be attempted if...
A) one is extremely horny
B) one is extremely commited
C) one is both extremely horny and extremely commited
Latisha's on her period, but I'm so damn horny. I think I might land shark her anyway.
by LindseyLu May 19, 2006
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land shark

The act of leaving a land shark:

Dropping toilet paper pre-duke (the land) and laying down a nice big steamer on top (the shark). A turd casually sunning itself on a TP island waiting for an unsuspecting victim to smell its wrath. An act designed to avoid ass-splash whilst doing your duty and to punish those who follow.
"Man, I went in that gas station bathroom and someone dropped a huge land shark." (ie..find another rest room to rest your toosh 'cuz that bathroom smells like butthole content.)
by MISHELLLIOhohoho September 18, 2012
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land shark

A hyperactive dog that runs around harrassing, biting, and chewing everyone and everything in its path.
-A shark-like creature that dwells on land. "AKA" Murphy Brown man around town...
This fucking dog is like a landshark.
Stop landsharking me you little bastard.
by jeff March 17, 2005
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Land Shark

Commonly referred to as a player of Call of Duty or other "FPS" game who upon seeing an enemy go from completely standing to fully prone.
Their whole fucking team is a bunch of land sharks.
by Jewses Chrost September 5, 2013
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Land Shark

A Virginia Beach Budweiser sales rep who preys on female vacationers, getting them drunk on the alcoholic beverage of the same name in hopes of hooking up later.
Female 1: That beer rep keeps giving us free drinks.

Female 2: Ewww...stay away from him. He's a total land shark.
by KSU1982 April 9, 2009
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land shark

A word often used to describe dangerous dog breeds such as Bullterriers (Pitbull, Stafford) and Mastiffs (Rottweiler, Dogo Argentino, Boerboel) because they tend to have large jaws, sharp teeth and muscular bodies, which goes with the ability to severely injure and kill other humans and animals.
"My crappy neighbour recently bought an American Pitbull Terrier, the jaw was so huge that it reminded me of some kind of land shark. I heard they kill more people than all other breeds combined!"
by Notyourmother123 May 10, 2020
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