Who's Kahvian? Simply put, a God among men, the future ruler of the world, and a fine pimp that ain't afraid to slap you across the face with his cock.
It is said that when He was born, color was given to the world and two neighboring stars exploded; ushering in the greatest era in human history.
Kahvian was a creation of "The Force". When created, he weighed about a stunning 21 lbs (12 lbs was his penis alone). Without parents or guidance, He was raised by a pack of wild wolves, named Alpha-Wolf at age 3, and solved a rubix cube underwater blindfolded at age 3-AND-A-HALF.
His middle name is "Ballsacko-Grande", Swahili for "The-Chosen-One". In 1996, He was named heir to Swaziland's thrown and led them to unknown advancements in medical science and geography.
After his single-handed victory of World War II, Kahvian was named "The Jesus" by the Tibetan Monks. His title signified Him as being the one to bring balance to the elements of the world.
Kahvian is a man known for his kindness. Back in Nam' He created the "I have a Dream" speech for his boy, Martin Luther King, Jr. He took no credit in creating it. Later, he hunted down the man responsible for MLK's (AKA Big Daddy Martin) assassination and brutally killed the man.
No mercy.
"The-Most-Interesting-Man-In-The-World" relinquished his position to Kahvian.
So next time you're down at the lowest point in your life ask yourself this: "What would Kahvian do." Either way, you probably wont be able to do what He would do.
It is said that when He was born, color was given to the world and two neighboring stars exploded; ushering in the greatest era in human history.
Kahvian was a creation of "The Force". When created, he weighed about a stunning 21 lbs (12 lbs was his penis alone). Without parents or guidance, He was raised by a pack of wild wolves, named Alpha-Wolf at age 3, and solved a rubix cube underwater blindfolded at age 3-AND-A-HALF.
His middle name is "Ballsacko-Grande", Swahili for "The-Chosen-One". In 1996, He was named heir to Swaziland's thrown and led them to unknown advancements in medical science and geography.
After his single-handed victory of World War II, Kahvian was named "The Jesus" by the Tibetan Monks. His title signified Him as being the one to bring balance to the elements of the world.
Kahvian is a man known for his kindness. Back in Nam' He created the "I have a Dream" speech for his boy, Martin Luther King, Jr. He took no credit in creating it. Later, he hunted down the man responsible for MLK's (AKA Big Daddy Martin) assassination and brutally killed the man.
No mercy.
"The-Most-Interesting-Man-In-The-World" relinquished his position to Kahvian.
So next time you're down at the lowest point in your life ask yourself this: "What would Kahvian do." Either way, you probably wont be able to do what He would do.
"Kahvian died five years ago, but Death is to afraid to tell him."
~J.F.K
"Kahvian's tears cure cancer... to bad he never cries."
~Django
"Kahvian counted to infinity... twice."
~Tupac
"Kahvian is the reason Waldo is hiding."
~New York Times
~J.F.K
"Kahvian's tears cure cancer... to bad he never cries."
~Django
"Kahvian counted to infinity... twice."
~Tupac
"Kahvian is the reason Waldo is hiding."
~New York Times
by Kahvian June 5, 2023
Get the Kahvian mug.a kahawa is a random stinky fruit that are very very tiny(you can't see most of them) and they only grow in hawaii
by ari-bell November 14, 2011
Get the kahawa mug.A kahlian is a person that will always be there for you no matter how bad things are getting for her/him they strive in school and have great intentions.
by Cheese mad January 31, 2021
Get the kahlian mug.A variation on "cockass", a combination of cock and ass, popularized by Jack Black of Tenacious D. Used frequently in more recent Tenacious D live performances. An insult used to label someone for the sake of expressing displeasure with them and their actions.
You create something like Inward Singing! You fucking shit, you'd fucking sit in your tower and fucking nap! You fucking bitch! You fucking kakaias!
by Explosivo Fueled July 16, 2009
Get the kakaias mug.by Perryjah June 24, 2017
Get the kahiau mug.A pretty cab nutz fakah who live kauai side. Kauai boyz is pretty cruz and kauai gurlz is pretty hot. Da beach and Kukui Grove is where dey all get down on fri. nights. (can also be used as an adjective to describe timing)
Kekoa: "eh! you're late"
Nohea: "No, I'm just on Kauaian time"
Jacob: "Lahaina boyz, represent!"
*Jess punches Jacob out*
Jess: "No wayz brah! Kauaian pride!"
Nohea: "No, I'm just on Kauaian time"
Jacob: "Lahaina boyz, represent!"
*Jess punches Jacob out*
Jess: "No wayz brah! Kauaian pride!"
by kanani March 10, 2008
Get the kauaian mug.Very pretty and cool fun to be around always making new friends very werid really nice to know. ❤️A bitch when’s she’s mad but really nice when she happy ❤️😂
by fat ass ignorint September 23, 2018
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