human pet guy

notorious on tumblr for a lengthy screed turned copypasta detailing why he believed he should be able to own a human pet. he has called himself "the cybersmith" since approximately 2014 and despite the belief of many that he may be a "bit", a three-hour interview proved his validity as a self-proclaimed "libertarian monarchist." in recent years he has become a reply guy to twitter user SAMOYEDCORE and retweets diaper- and other fetish-related pornography. he is a fan of the fallout series, fallout 4 being his favourite and perhaps what he bases some or most of his politics off of. he also has an account on reddit where he posts fallout-related meta-analysis, which he would no doubt prefer to be known for.

a did you hear that human pet guy thinks ancient romans all lived in tiny colosseums?
b i heard that human pet guy wanted to be pegged by young maggie thatcher.

by space/qwn March 16, 2021

Human Cigarette Butt

Person who smells like a wet ash tray, has brown stained teeth and a raspy smoker's voice.

Lynn has not been able to get a job because she looks like a human cigarette butt.

by The #1 Joker October 7, 2012

Human Branding

A term used for degrading a victim in torture. This can be done by forced nudity and humiliation. Human Branding is a more exciting way unless you're used to burning people, that is.

Human Branding is quite self-explanatory. You grab an iron brand, heat it up, and stick it on the person wherever you please. Rapists and Paedophiles should have it placed on both testicles and face. That's after carefully slicing the tip of the penis "to put such predators out of use before being released onto our streets" and to assist the prey identify the predator.

Think of it like giving an extremely painful tattoo to them. It does cause a good amount of pain, after all nobody likes having burning hot metal pressed onto their skin, or in the Rapist and Paedophiles eyes "Ball-sacks".

Because of how livestock are branded, human branding can be seen as a way of showing the victim's reduction in the status of their life. It's almost as if they are property now.

Judge: "For your despicable and hospitable acts I sentence you to life with Human Branding"

by CannabisKings January 17, 2020

human constructs

Ideas made up and carried out by humans for purpose of clarification, that actually don't exist.

Money is a human construct because it is given value, and without its given value it wouldn't be worth anything.

Human Constructs make up man things...

by Aspekt December 28, 2006

e-humanism

The act of making online donations to feel better about your grossly consumer lifestyle that often directly negatively impacts the causes you donate to online.

Darlene is such a cunt. She thinks she's saving the world with her practice of e-humanism, but her day-to-day consumerism defeats her supposed online sensitivity.

by aretegroup August 30, 2014

Human Whisk

0 in the pink, 20 in the stink, simple as that. You’ll look like the kitchen appliance when enacted successfully.

Did you hear about Sarah’s asshole? Jack gauged it when he performed the human whisk.

by The Human Whisk September 15, 2019

Human Garbage

n; a person who is absolutely worthless.

The smack daddy is a piece of human garbage. Or, when did you become such a worthless piece of human garbage.

by Anonymous1544 October 11, 2008