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A person who enters into the political dialogue for the first time having never exhibited any particular prior interest in the human condition or society at large outside the welfare of his own family or close personal friends.
How libertarian of you to dedicate your life to serving yourself!
by RecalcitrantLemming July 24, 2014
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2
A philosophy held by people who fundamentally fail to grasp that human beings are social animals.

Libertarianism is not to be confused with Objectivism, a philosophy espoused mostly by privileged 18-year olds who believe that a toddler's "Mine!" phase is the best time of his life and should therefore be encouraged in adults as well.
You might be a Libertarian if:

1. You believe that over 200 years of economic regulations were put in place just for the heck of it.

2. You believe that roads and bridges build themselves, or that water is safe to drink by default.

3. You believe, for reasons known only to God, that living in a country virtually devoid of governance, such as Somalia, is preferable to living in a country with strong government oversight, such as Sweden.

4. You believe that the wealthy and successful built their success from literally nothing, with no help from taxpayer-funded infrastructure, police, firemen, schools, military protection, investment in science, etc., and so by this logic taxes are a form of "stealing".

5. You would prefer that citizens be controlled and dominated by large corporations over which they have no control than a single government over which they have at least some control.

6. You believe that profit motives can in no way conflict with the public good. For example, you believe that privately run prisons with a profit motive will naturally focus on rehabilitation and minimizing recidivism, because they totally want to reduce the prison population for some reason.

7. You believe that people living in a country in which they have to work two or more dead-end jobs just to make ends meet are free just because those same people would hypothetically pay less taxes if they magically got rich.
by Could_be_anyone August 18, 2014
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A moron who thinks a completely unregulated economy somehow makes people more free. If they are on an online forum, their username will include the words "Taxpayer", "American" (if they're American, which they usually are), "Freedom", or "Liberty". They often have pictures of American flags or eagles to show their national pride. Even though they are extremely patriotic, they believe everything the government does is a huge conspiracy against them (unless the government is on their side on an issue, of course). They tend to be wealthy or at least middle class. They believe that all power should be transferred from the evil, tyrannical government to the rich who love and care about us. They believe in "self reliance" and that the world is completely fair. Libertarians believe everyone is on an equal playing field in life, whether you are from an affluent suburb with a two parent household or shitty neighborhood with a single mom who beats her children. They believe it's not the government's problem if people are poor, they deserve it. They believe the economy will magically fix itself.
Homeless man: Can I have some change, sir?
Libertarian: Get a fucking job, scumbag.
by a__Generic__Dude December 20, 2013
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4
A motley collection of neo-confederates, racists, neo-Nazis, Holocaust revisionists, tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists, insecure wannabes and pretentious dicks who consider themselves superior to everyone else because they have heard of Murray Rothbard and the Austrian School of Economics.
"You're a sheep. Don't talk to me about economics. Your doctorate is useless. Do you know I've read somewhere once something about Murray Rothbard and the Austrian School of Economics? That's because I am a libertarian, and I know more than you! My neckbeard knows more than you! You're nothing more than an establishment sheep who cannot think for himself. I've a bigger dick than you, and Ron Paul has the biggest dick in Congress. Don't talk to me about measuring tapes or delusions of grandeur - science is a myth perpetuated by the federal government to take our liberty away!
by Misha A. February 03, 2013
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Alice: So you're voting for the asshole?
Bob: Yes! This country needs a vapid asshole who's true to the ideals of libertarianism!
by SteveBob McJohnson November 05, 2007
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6
In North America, the term libertarian means what everywhere else is called a Classical Liberal. This is a person who essentially pushes for the rights of big business at any cost. The Libertarian party was, not surprisingly, started by the billionaire Koch brothers. Two key unspoken tenets of North American libertarianism: companies should never be regulated because the Little Guy must fend for himself, and companies should be free to pollute at will. This is a true and accurate description of North American libertarians attitudes although they always try to appear virtuous and intellectual. They are neither. In their effort to appear intelligent, libertarians is argue that in a free market (which has never existed) everything is fair. Not so. In any country that doesn't protect the little guy, big companies can pummel them into submission, particularly in the courts but also when the little guy is a shareholder or employee or a voter. Corporations power lets them get away with almost anything. Even economist Adam Smith would have rejected corporatism, because he believed companies should always be small.
by Zacky August 29, 2005
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7
Libertarians are nothing more than economic
conservatives (Privatize all government services, end public schools,
screw the poor) who are simply not religious fuck-tards. They can be
anywhere from mainstream christian to atheist, but the only thing they
have in common is that they do not want to pay any taxes for anything,
and they would rather have the government just cater to business.

A typical libertarian is someone who doesn't care about religious or
moral issues, but who wants to eliminate public schools, because
education is "not a right under the constitution", and who wants to
eliminate all government regulations on business, because "businesses
can just police themselves"

In other words, they are amoral sociopaths who don't give a fuck about
humanity, or about using government to build a fair, just, equitable
society that serves all the people equally.

I bought into the whole libertarian thing a while back, but when it
came down to regulations, I realized they had a serious disconnect.
Most of the libertarian literature I've seen, and most of the
libertarians I've talked to believe in "business self-regulation" like
a religion. They seem to think that businesses always have the best
interests of the people in mind, and that we don't need minimum wages,
zoning regulations, safety regulations, or any regulations, because
"the market must be free to go in whatever direction it goes in", "let
workers decide which businesses have the best policies by not working
for bad companies", and "taxes only inhibit growth and prosperity".

It's all total bullshit. Everyone knows that self regulation is
bullshit -- it ALWAYS has resulted in corporate aliances that
deliberately screw customers. Just look how the self-regulation of the
stock brokers and auditors, and energy companies ended up -- MCI, Tyco,
Enron, Anderson-Little, and others. If a company has an opportunity to
get away with screwing it's customers without accountability, THEY
WILL. If a company is allowed to operate a facility with dangerous
practices that endanger workers or the surrounding community, IT WILL.

Regulations were invented for very good reasons -- to protect workers,
to protect communities, and to make people and companies accounatable
when things go horribly wrong. Libertarians want us to forget our past
run-ins with monopolies and industry self-regulation.
Barry Goldwater is a libertarian.
by LoreAlmighty December 12, 2006
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