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A person who enters into the political dialogue for the first time having never exhibited any particular prior interest in the human condition or society at large outside the welfare of his own family or close personal friends.
How libertarian of you to dedicate your life to serving yourself!
by RecalcitrantLemming July 24, 2014
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A philosophy held by people who fundamentally fail to grasp that human beings are social animals.

Libertarianism is not to be confused with Objectivism, a philosophy espoused mostly by privileged 18-year olds who believe that a toddler's "Mine!" phase is the best time of his life and should therefore be encouraged in adults as well.
You might be a Libertarian if:

1. You believe that over 200 years of economic regulations were put in place just for the heck of it.

2. You believe that roads and bridges build themselves, or that water is safe to drink by default.

3. You believe, for reasons known only to God, that living in a country virtually devoid of governance, such as Somalia, is preferable to living in a country with strong government oversight, such as Sweden.

4. You believe that the wealthy and successful built their success from literally nothing, with no help from taxpayer-funded infrastructure, police, firemen, schools, military protection, investment in science, etc., and so by this logic taxes are a form of "stealing".

5. You would prefer that citizens be controlled and dominated by large corporations over which they have no control than a single government over which they have at least some control.

6. You believe that profit motives can in no way conflict with the public good. For example, you believe that privately run prisons with a profit motive will naturally focus on rehabilitation and minimizing recidivism, because they totally want to reduce the prison population for some reason.

7. You believe that people living in a country in which they have to work two or more dead-end jobs just to make ends meet are free just because those same people would hypothetically pay less taxes if they magically got rich.
by Could_be_anyone August 18, 2014
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A moron who thinks a completely unregulated economy somehow makes people more free. If they are on an online forum, their username will include the words "Taxpayer", "American" (if they're American, which they usually are), "Freedom", or "Liberty". They often have pictures of American flags or eagles to show their national pride. Even though they are extremely patriotic, they believe everything the government does is a huge conspiracy against them (unless the government is on their side on an issue, of course). They tend to be wealthy or at least middle class. They believe that all power should be transferred from the evil, tyrannical government to the rich who love and care about us. They believe in "self reliance" and that the world is completely fair. Libertarians believe everyone is on an equal playing field in life, whether you are from an affluent suburb with a two parent household or shitty neighborhood with a single mom who beats her children. They believe it's not the government's problem if people are poor, they deserve it. They believe the economy will magically fix itself.
Homeless man: Can I have some change, sir?
Libertarian: Get a fucking job, scumbag.
by a__Generic__Dude December 20, 2013
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A motley collection of neo-confederates, racists, neo-Nazis, Holocaust revisionists, tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists, insecure wannabes and pretentious dicks who consider themselves superior to everyone else because they have heard of Murray Rothbard and the Austrian School of Economics.
"You're a sheep. Don't talk to me about economics. Your doctorate is useless. Do you know I've read somewhere once something about Murray Rothbard and the Austrian School of Economics? That's because I am a libertarian, and I know more than you! My neckbeard knows more than you! You're nothing more than an establishment sheep who cannot think for himself. I've a bigger dick than you, and Ron Paul has the biggest dick in Congress. Don't talk to me about measuring tapes or delusions of grandeur - science is a myth perpetuated by the federal government to take our liberty away!
by Misha A. February 03, 2013
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In North America, the term libertarian means what everywhere else is called a Classical Liberal. This is a person who essentially pushes for the rights of big business at any cost. The Libertarian party was, not surprisingly, started by the billionaire Koch brothers. Two key unspoken tenets of North American libertarianism: companies should never be regulated because the Little Guy must fend for himself, and companies should be free to pollute at will. This is a true and accurate description of North American libertarians attitudes although they always try to appear virtuous and intellectual. They are neither. In their effort to appear intelligent, libertarians is argue that in a free market (which has never existed) everything is fair. Not so. In any country that doesn't protect the little guy, big companies can pummel them into submission, particularly in the courts but also when the little guy is a shareholder or employee or a voter. Corporations power lets them get away with almost anything. Even economist Adam Smith would have rejected corporatism, because he believed companies should always be small.
by Zacky August 29, 2005
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Alice: So you're voting for the asshole?
Bob: Yes! This country needs a vapid asshole who's true to the ideals of libertarianism!
by SteveBob McJohnson November 05, 2007
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Wealthy individuals who try to frighten others into believing the government is out to get you and your money. Much like the Tea Party, but without the Dominionism. As they see it, the only reason for a government to exist is for defense and protection of the free market. Everything else should be run by private corporation. Anything or anyone that cannot survive the new world order, doesn't deserve to (Social Darwinism).

While their waving the flag at you, remember a few things Libertarians would like to take away:

1. Public schools of all kind (primary, secondary and collegiate).
2. Civil Rights Act of 1964. The government would no longer enforce desegregation laws. Too bad if you're not a WASP.
3. Civil services and the taxes that pay for them (i.e. Police and Firemen). Those services would be handled by private firms.
4. Social Security, Medicare, Bluecross/Blueshield.
5. Labor unions.
6. Need based student loans.
7. Government funded research including medicine and technology. No more NASA. No more NIH. No more Center for Disease Control.
8. Best of all? No business regulation. This includes: minimum wages, disability, worker's compensation, 8 hour work day, anti-trust laws, OSHA, zoning and pollution laws, and many others.

At the end of the day, the only people who benefit from this fantasy world are other Libertarians. Many of which own, represent and/or invested in big businesses.
See that guy wearing a tin foil hat, waving a flag and talking like Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons"? That's a Libertarian.
by CharlesMontgomeryBurns September 06, 2011
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